


Forbidden Hunt

by tattedfan



Category: Hanson (Band)
Genre: Brother/Brother Incest, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-10-31 20:15:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 27,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20800616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tattedfan/pseuds/tattedfan
Summary: So.. I didn't know if this was a good idea after hearing that Zac had wrecked on his motorcycle. 5 bones broken in total.  I considered removing it and/or not publishing this, but I figure, he's okay. Things were on edge for awhile and seemed to have been settling down now. So hopefully nobody will find this in bad taste.





	1. Chapter 1

Zac

My eyes fluttered open, the windows revealing how I felt inside; gloom and despair. 

Ever since we told the fans that we were going to be putting out a new record, the first one in seven years, my creativity levels tanked. 

It took me hours upon hours of staring at a blank sheet of paper to get a single line written down on it, only to ball it up and toss it over my shoulder. It wasn’t a common occurence to stand up from my desk, wads of paper littered behind me. 

My life wasn’t perfect, no matter how hard I tried to convey that lie to every person that crossed my path these days. I often wrote about it in our lyrics, but who wanted to hear a sappy song about how much your life was the golden age of opportunity? 

It was no secret that people loved angst, but I was constantly reminded that we had an image to uphold. 

If it was shown that we weren’t happy with our marriages and a slew of children in toe, we would no longer fit the bill of a wholesome trio of brothers as a band. In fact, we’d be just like everyone else, and, what is that to admire?

When I looked to my left, the bed was empty, and I was fucking grateful. 

As much as I loved my wife Kate, I really wasn’t in love with her anymore. 

The spark between her and I died years ago, and we’d just kept having children to try and salvage what was left of the ruins. Our house wasn’t a home anymore, so much as it was a place to retreat to at night. 

Most times, I’d stay gone until two to three in the morning at the studio with my brother, Taylor. Isaac would end up leaving around eleven, saying things such as him being too old to do late nights anymore. In doing so, I felt myself growing a larger and more present than ever infatuation with my older brother. 

Taylor was just a couple of years older than me, but we felt like equals in our sense of humor. 

While I remained a blunt realist with my heart on my sleeve, he was charming, outgoing, and had a level of optimism in him that I always aspired to have. 

In short, I looked up to him. 

Some days, I wanted to be him. 

His family life started very early, only nineteen when he’d gotten married, and I craved what he had. I stood with him at the altar as his best man, hands held behind my back taking in the adoration he had for his soon to be new bride.

The reason for such an early marriage, was that Natalie, his wife, was carrying his child, but it didn’t sway his decision. 

He was going to marry her, do right by her, and love her forever. 

However, when they walked back down the aisle as husband and wife, my stomach fell. Just knowing he wouldn’t be in the bed in the room we shared next to me anymore, alone and off with his new wife somewhere else, made my heart shatter right down the middle. 

Kate was on the other side of the altar, stealing glances from me every so often, a bashful smile on her face when I’d catch her eye. 

Being in the vulnerable state that I was in, I ended up fucking her in the locked bathroom of the Church, Taylor’s face in my mind all the while. 

I’d been a virgin before that day, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. 

The realization washed over me as I came inside of Kate, that Taylor was who I’d been in love with my entire life.

To distract myself from his joy when his son was born, I proposed to Kate just two short years later. 

She was the easiest person to fall in love with, being that she was Natalie’s best friend, and always readily available. 

Kate frequently came into town to visit, staying weeks at a time at Taylor’s house to help with the new baby. 

So naturally, I did too. 

I’d watch as Taylor would walk out of the bathroom with only just a towel around his waist, my dick twitching and trying to detach from my body just to run after him, be inside of him. 

There were many times where it seemed as if Kate would notice, but brush it off, saying things like “Well damn, Taylor. Put some clothes on!” 

They made a joke out of it, causing me to laugh along, hiding the sheer amount of pain I was in from having to restrain every sense in my body to not run and tackle him. 

This was unchanging. 

I’ve had these feelings for now eighteen years since that day in the Church, and it was sucking the soul out of me to keep this charade going. 

So many things have changed over the years: more records, more tours, more fans, and more children. The only thing that hasn’t changed, were my feelings for him. 

My phone went off on the nightstand next to my bed, and I reached over for it, staring down at the screen; Taylor was calling me.

“Hey.” I smiled into the phone, playing with the brown and teal down comforter that still lay across my lap.

“Hey, so, are you busy tonight? After we get done with the stuff at the office?” Taylor asked me. 

I could hear him pulling on his cigarettes in between sentences. A horrid habit for a singer, but since he’d cut back on the drinking a bit, I’d decided not to put up much of a fuss with him.

“Not that I know of.” I said, my hope increasing that he’d wanted to spend time with me, alone.

“Awesome. I want to go to this store, and wondered if you wanted to come along? I could really use your help.” Taylor explained, exhaling on his cigarette. 

“Yeah sure, that’d be cool.” I said, my face transforming into a wide smile.

“Great, see you then.” Taylor replied, disconnecting the call.

I tossed my phone down on the bed and jumped out of bed, excitement overtaking me. A familiar feeling that I’d gotten every time he and I had a new date together. 

I jumped into the shower, washing every single oraphous on my body, spritzed cologne in all the right places. I brushed my hair the way he’d always liked it and ran out to my truck, speeding off towards the studio. 

*****

When I got to the studio, Taylor was already sitting at his MacBook. His face was in deep concentration, eyebrows dangerously close together. I looked down at his legs as they bounced under the desk, which was nothing new. I smirked to myself, putting my coat on the rack at the door. 

"Oh hey." Taylor turned to me and greeted, his once concerned face now bright. "Come check this out." 

I didn't hesitate to be near him. 

I walked over to him as he turned back to his computer, and looked over his shoulder. 

"Motorcycles?" I asked him, arching a brow and looked down at Taylor as he studied my expression. 

"Yeah! Aren't they cool?" Taylor asked me, licking his lips, searching my eyes. 

"Sure yeah, they're cool." I agreed, nodding at him. 

He turned back to the screen, clicking through the gallery of Ducati motorcycles, stopping on a solid black one. 

"This is the one I want." He breathed, leaning back in his chair. 

His smile spread quickly over his lips, staring at the screen. He leaned his head back towards me, his shoulder length hair falling in all of the right places. 

The idea of Taylor riding a motorcycle had my dick twitching again. To see him flying down route 66, hair billowing in the wind with those too tight jeans and riding boots had me reeling. 

I bit down on my lip, trying to suppress the sudden urge of a fantasy when he spoke. 

"What color would you want?" Taylor asked, leaning toward the computer again, clicking through the gallery once more, stopping on a white model. 

"This one." He said, standing up from his desk and placed his hands on my shoulder, guiding me to sit. I did so. "This is you." 

"For me? I..I don't know how to ride." I stammered, looking up at him while his hands remained on my shoulders. 

He bent down next to my face, eyeing the screen. 

"You know how to ride a dirt bike. Same thing. Come on, don't you want to ride with me?" He asked, grinning. His face close enough to where I could feel the heat of his breath. 

"S-sure. Okay." I nodded at him, swallowing hard, resisting everything in me not to kiss him. To not grab him and knock everything on the desk and fuck him right then and there. 

"Yes!" Taylor beamed clapping his hands together. 

"Let's go. Right now." He said, tossing my coat to me and grabbing his shoulder bag. 

"N-now?" I stammered, clutching my coat, remaining seated, watching him as he began to push on the door to leave. "But we have work!" 

"Work schmork." Taylor rolled his eyes at me. "Come on!" 

I took a deep breath and resigned from my seat, pulling my coat open and following Taylor out the door. 

It was in that moment, as I watched the back side of Taylor knowing that soon it was going to be leaning over in front of me on a motorcycle, that every single resistance I'd had built up was going to crash through. 

I didn't know if I could or wanted to stop it.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.. I didn't know if this was a good idea after hearing that Zac had wrecked on his motorcycle. 5 bones broken in total. I considered removing it and/or not publishing this, but I figure, he's okay. Things were on edge for awhile and seemed to have been settling down now. So hopefully nobody will find this in bad taste.

Zac

The ride to go shop for motorcycles was nothing short of tense. I sat next to Taylor in his SUV, his hands drumming on the steering wheel to the song on the radio. 

His sunglasses were over his eyes, and I cursed myself for not doing the same. If only I had a pair too, I'd be stealing glances at him the whole way there.

I would start at his perfect hips, and what lay just beneath those too tight jeans. Following it up to his lean torso, to his beautiful hands, and his full lips. 

I found myself salivating at the thought of parting his lips with my tongue, swallowing hard. To distract myself, I peered out the window to look at all of the different brick buildings we passed, my hands folded in my lap to hide the ever present half erection. 

"You don't seem excited." Taylor frowned at me. 

"I am." I nodded at him eagerly, pushing my hair back from my face as the wind whipped through the car. "I just expected to work today, is all." I admitted. 

"Work happens everyday, dude. Let's just enjoy our time together." Taylor smiled at me and patted my left knee. "It'll be great!" 

We got to the shop, not another body in sight in the parking lot. Taylor got out of the car and waved his hand to follow him, not noticing I’d glued myself to the pavement. 

Come on Zac. Get a grip. I thought to myself. 

I took a deep breath, shoving my hands in the pockets of my coat and jogged up behind him as he’d pulled open the door to the building. My mouth had gone cotton when the LEDs filled my vision, anxiety starting as my eyes darted around to all of the different gear that lined the walls. 

“Zac!” Taylor called from my left. I looked over in the direction of his voice.

My breath hitched in my throat. 

He was sitting on an all black Ducati motorcycle; the same one from the online gallery we’d looked at moments earlier. I slowly took my hands out of my pockets and walked over to him, his big toothy grin overtaking his face. 

“What do you think?” Taylor looked at me expectedly as he leaned forward on the motorcycle, both his hands on the handles. 

“Pull your hair back.” I instructed him, licking my lips. 

“What?” Taylor asked, chuckling. “Why?”

“It’ll pull the look together.” I shrugged at him, eyeing the hair tie he’d been keeping on his right wrist next to his brown leather bracelet.

He looked at me for a second longer through his shades which he seemed to never want to remove, and then pulled the hair tie off of his wrist. I watched him run his fingers through his shoulder length dirty blonde hair, time moving by in slow motion. He fastened the tie around his hair and looked back over at me grinning.

“And now?” Taylor asked once more. 

I pulled my eyes away from him and looked over at the leather coat a few feet away on a rack. 

“One last thing.” I said, and walked over to the coat rack, thumbing through until I’d found a large sized all black leather jacket. I walked back over to him and took it off it’s hanger, holding it out to him. 

“Oh yeah. We can’t get bikes without a nice leather jacket.” Taylor smiled, standing up and straddling the bike and took the coat from me. He shrugged it onto his body and sat back down on it. 

“Perfect.” I gasped at him, nodding.

Why I felt like I had to torture myself incessantly, I had no idea. All I knew was that in this moment, Taylor was fulfilling a fantasy for me that I’d never known was buried deep within.

“You guys need any help?” someone asked from behind us. 

We both turned and looked at an eager salesman. He was stocky and definitely not my type. His hairline was receding and had at least twenty years on both of us. 

“Definitely.” Taylor nodded, getting up from the bike and reaching his hand out for the man to take. 

We went over everything that Taylor needed to finish up his transaction, almost hoping that this outing was just a thing for him. I knew it wasn't. Not after the excitement and the invitation.

The idea of getting on one of these things intimidated me to no end. Not to mention, the more I got around Taylor, the more my inner self control was wavering. Each day was beginning to become more of a test and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to keep holding back. 

But what would that mean for us? For our band? For our families?

“Zac.” Taylor said, a hand on my left shoulder, startling me out of my thoughts. 

He walked in front of me, lifting his shades for the first time in the past few hours. His blue eyes bore into my brown ones. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, tucking his shades into the collar of his shirt. 

Is it unacceptable to wish you were an inanimate object?

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine.” I weakly smiled at him. 

“Are you mad at me?” Taylor asked, arching a brow at me, shoving his hands in his jeans pockets.

“No? Why would I be mad at you?” I asked, cursing him in my mind. Actually yes I am mad at you, Taylor. Stop being so hot and making me want to fuck you.

“Because you just don’t seem into this.” He said, pulling his right hand out of his pocket and motioning towards our surroundings.

“I am.” I lied. “I think I’m just hungry.” 

“When are you not?” Taylor asked, shaking his head and laughing. “Come on, I found that white one I saw online. I want to see you on it.” 

He grabbed ahold of my hand, pulling me towards him as he walked to the other side of the store. The closer we got to the bike, the more I was compelled to turn around and run out of the store. I don’t know why my gut was not agreeing with the situation, but my stomach was doing backflips. 

“Go on.” Taylor motioned to the bike as we stood next to it. 

I chewed on my lower lip and looked down at its white bodied frame and swung my leg over it, slowly sitting down on its seat. 

“Now hold the handlebars.” Taylor instructed to my left. 

I did so, and stared out the tinted store window at the parking lot, watching the cars zooming past on the street. Just then, I felt extra weight on the bike behind me and warmth enveloping my body. Taylor’s arms came up on either side of me and wrapped them around my middle, his chin on my right shoulder.

“This is how it would feel if Kate were with you.” Taylor breathed, his hot breath tickling my neck and ear. 

A shuddered breath came out of me and I closed my eyes, taking in his body pressed up against mine. I closed my eyes, allowing the contact to fill up my senses. I didn’t care if any customers came in and saw us this way, or even if the salesman came back out.

“Does it feel good?” Taylor asked, his chin bouncing on my shoulder where it still rested. 

“Mhm.” I said back, my eyes still closed. “Perfect.” 

“Great!” Taylor said, letting our embrace go, his warmth quickly leaving my body. I frowned as it dissipated completely, Taylor across the store looking again for the salesman. 

If moments like these were destined to happen again, consider the bike sold.

That night when the motorcycle was towed into our driveway, was one of the most agonizing evenings I’d had thus far in my short life. Not only was I going to have to deal with the repercussions of what my wife thought, but I’d have Taylor’s body against mine in my head.

“Zac, what the fuck.” Kate scowled as I walked around the backside of the house, her slim frame in the open doorway of our sliding glass door on the porch.

“What?” I asked her innocently. 

“A motorcycle?!” Kate yelled, coming out onto the porch, holding her body against the brisk air. “Do you really want to leave us that soon?”

“Don’t you think that’s a bit harsh, Kate?” I rolled my eyes at her as I met her on the porch. 

“Nope. I do not. You’re not thinking of your family at all.” Kate grimaced. “What is this? Some kind of midlife crisis at thirty?”  
“That’s not fair.” I said, shaking my head at her, and walked past her into the house. 

“No, what isn’t fair, Zac.” Kate said behind me, then slid the glass door back closed. “Is that you only think of yourself and not us!” 

I turned back towards her, her face full of anger and disappointment. Our marriage had been crumbling for quite some time, but the more I looked at her, the more I could see her age appearing. The frown lines went on for days, her hair graying at the roots. There wasn’t happiness in our home anymore; especially between the two of us. We did whatever we could do to make it work, but the more that time pressed on, the more unhappier we seemed to become.

“I just wanted one thing to myself.” I frowned, looking at the black and white tiled floor in our kitchen. 

“One thing to yourself? You have an entire band. You have us.” Kate said, her voice quivering. 

I looked back up at her just as a tear fell, which she quickly wiped away and stiffened her lips. She always tried to play it off that she was stronger than she actually was. I knew better. Kate was falling apart just like our marriage was. 

“You’re right.” I sighed, walking up towards her, my arms reaching out for her. She gladly accepted the hug, her slim body fitting easily against mine. “I’m sorry.”

Kate nodded against my chest, holding me tighter. 

My mind went from the present back to when I fucked her in that Church on Taylor’s wedding day. Deep regret and sadness overtaking me. 

No matter what I’d do, where I’d go, Taylor was going to haunt my thoughts.


	3. Chapter 3

Taylor

One day, I would tell him. 

One day, I would be honest with him, and myself. 

I laid in bed at two am, my eyes fixated on the ceiling. Natalie slumbered to my right, the way we always did it, but there was a secret that I'd be harboring to myself. 

About four years ago, our band had been out doing a promotion in England and planned to stay there for a week. We always took the opportunity to sight see and explore when we were somewhere other than home, especially in other countries. 

It was very late at night, at a time I could never remember, my eyes heavy with exhaustion. We'd had meeting after meeting that day, and I wanted nothing more than to be alone. I craved the loneliness that was harder than ever to come by. For that, I decided to walk back to the hotel so that I could give myself that momentary peace. 

The air was different there; more calm but mildly brisk. There was a slight mist in the air that never really got your clothes wet, but would dampen your hair just slightly.

My feet shuffled lazily on the old brick and cobblestone sidewalk on the outskirts of a park, just a couple of blocks from the hotel we were staying in. The fingers on my left hand were lightly hitting the railing that lined its perimeters as I walked past it, when I saw a saw an eerie shadow just up ahead. I tried to focus my vision on it from a street lamp a few meters away, but it was no use. 

Because I was always the curious type, I inched closer towards it, my heart pounding in my ears. I swallowed thickly, almost choking myself. 

My mouth had gone dry, whooshing noises coming from all sides of me. My head darted left, then right, then left again. Eventually, I'd spun in a circle three different times trying to figure out what was floating around me. The sound, for description sake, was the strongest, yet fastest, wind you could fathom. 

"Who's there?!" I cried out, my eyes glossing over with tears from the sheer terror of it all. 

I heard laughing in the distance, but it sounded closer than I'd surely given them credit for. 

This didn't feel human. 

Her voice was playful yet filled with desire. 

"You're even cuter when you're frightened." She stated somewhere off to my right, cackling at the end of her words.

I decided to make a mad dash for the hotel. The adrenaline was coursing through my veins, sending me off like a rocket. Though, it didn't seem as if I were fast enough, despite the head start. 

I turned the corner, her hot on my heels, the awning and front door of the hotel now lay in my vision. A small smile escaped me, hoping I could get away from whatever this was, whatever she was. 

"Where are you going?" She cooed as she dropped down in front of me, the ground quaking underneath my feet. 

Her eyes were red, her skin porcelain. Her platinum hair was pulled up in a tight bun, a tight pink corseted dress over her thin frame. She looked ancient, colonial even. 

"What do you want?" I asked her, my breathing ragged, my fear trumping every emotion within me. 

Her lips turned into a wicked smile, her long nails tracing the side of my left cheek. She licked her lips, pulling her tongue back in her mouth, sharp pointed canine teeth on display. 

"I want to play." She smiled again, her fingers trailing down from my cheek to my neck, to my chest in one quick motion.

"Look I'll do whatever you want, just.. I just.." I stammered, unable to speak clearly. 

My blue eyes were captivated on her red ones. They were deep red with flecks of gold in them, beautiful yet intimidating. Red has always been my favorite color, but now I'd made a mental note to choose something else in better taste. 

"Don't want to die?" She asked, her face quickly coming towards mine. My breath hitched in my throat, holding my body stiff. 

I squeezed my eyes shut, expecting the certainty of death even though I couldn't beg for my own life out loud. 

Her lips pressed against my neck, placing a deep kiss upon it. She drug her fangs down my skin, teasing me with them. I wanted to fight, I wanted to scream, but the level of panic I was in the midst of facing was shutting my body down. Her long fingers edged around the back of my neck pulling me closer and then shoved both of us against the brick building. 

The little bit of air I had left in my lungs escaped me as she dug her fangs into the side of my neck, paralyzing me into a slump on the ground; she never let go of me on the way down. Instead, she gripped onto me tighter in a way as if I were her lover and this was her method of showing it. 

My vision began to blur, my body growing colder, the last of my breaths coming to cease, the world I once knew, now black. 

When I came to, she was gone, dawn settling in on the horizon. 

Me, I was still in the same place I’d been; I’m not sure how long I’d lay there in a lifeless slump. 

The fog had rolled in cascading around my body, wisps of it brighter and more in focus than I’d once remembered, even the air smelled different. 

I stood up and dusted myself off, Zac’s familiar voice echoing through the darkness to my right. I jutted my head towards it, growing louder with each footstep he took. 

“Yeah, I’ll call you tomorrow.” Zac huffed into the phone pressed against his ear. He was walking slowly and kicking at pebbles on the ground, their tinkling sounds moving in all directions as they skidded across the sidewalk. 

My mouth began to salivate in a way that’s hard to describe. I ran my tongue over my teeth, fangs protruding where my regular canine teeth used to reside. Instead of satisfying my hunger, using my younger brother as my first meal, I took off at lightning speed and ducked around a corner. 

My stomach betrayed me.

I wanted to quench this hunger, make the burning pain and torment cease, but not if it cost the life of someone so dear to me. I clung to the back side of the building my fingers digging into its walls, my chest heaved breaths as I writhed in pain. 

I realized in that moment that nothing would ever be the same. 

*****

Fast forward to now, the popcorn ceiling still in my vision. 

I hadn’t slept in four years, the nighttime ritual growing tired. 

There were many times and many nights where I wanted to tell Natalie what happened to me. The last thing I wanted though, was to be alone in my life. I loved my family, I loved everything around me, and I didn’t want it to change. If they’d ever found out I was some sort of monster, I was damn certain that I’d never be able to see my children again. 

It was fortunate that I’d been able to hide it, my eyes only changing into a red gold flecked color whenever I was in the midst of making love or if I were hunting for my food. These were the two easiest aspects of concealing my newly found identity. 

If I felt exasperatedly horny, I’d duck into the bathroom and take care of it quickly, or we'd make love only at night. Which, with all of the children around, this was not a hard excuse to make. 

However, there have been many occasions where Natalie would come to me wanting her “afternoon delight,” as she called it, and I’d refuse to remove the sunglasses I frequently wore. They had been a part of me now, only taking them off when I lay in bed, watching the sun come up every morning. 

After that night, it’s what allowed me to still walk among the sunlight. 

My body didn’t glitter like some silly fairy tale, and my skin didn’t burn as portrayed in most of the vampire books and movies out there. My body was still warm, and I still had a beating heart. You couldn’t tell, unless I allowed you to, that I was not of human form any longer. 

Though, it is true that I lure you in just like any other beast out there. 

By nature, I’m designed to intoxicate your senses, making you forget why you’re here, why you’re so drawn to me. 

I give you everything you crave: a well built slender body, strong, never sick, age defying looks. 

But here is my position: In the time I’ve been trying to focus on who I’ve now become, I’ve lured in someone I didn’t expect. 

Over the course of the last four years, Zac has been my pawn in the chess game of life. 

Every time I’ve said to jump, he’d ask how high. He would rarely fight me on anything, and it pained me whenever we were around one another just how much I was beginning to crave him and his company just as much. It was on a sinful, forbidden level. 

The more I tried to push away the thoughts I had for him, the more it difficult it became. It was wrong to want your brother, when I just so easily could fulfill a desire with the woman that lay in bed next to me every night. 

I looked to my right, Natalie's perfect brown hair that curled at the ends, her soft delicate skin. So human, so innocent, but not loved the way she deserved to be loved. She had been there for me when nobody else was. While I remained busy with work, she took care of my every need. 

But our intimacy was gone. 

Time after time of her asking me for another baby, myself knowing I could no longer procreate as I am,  
became an all out war inside of me. Every month that stick read negative, every month she'd get her hopes up. 

This wasn't fair to her, and it wasn't fair to continue the lies. 

I had to come clean, just not in the way that anyone might expect.


	4. Chapter 4

Taylor 

Before I was turned, I would be the hardest person to get out of bed. The alarm clock would be snoozed five or six times before I found it acceptable to wake up for the day. 

Now, I read a book once the sun starts to creep high enough above the windows, waiting for Natalie to rise next to me. 

I eyed the time, less than two minutes before the alarm would ring. I quickly closed my book and set my reading glasses on top of it on my nightstand and rolled over to face the opposite wall away from her. 

As I waited for it to go off, my thoughts trailed back to Zac. 

Today was going to be the day that I come out to him, and I wasn't sure how to phrase it. 

As many sleepless nights came to me, I still didn't have the answer. I was hoping the opportunity would have presented itself by now, but no such luck. 

Zac was a peculiar person; if he wasn't in a serious mood, don't try to put him there. He tends to say things he can't take back, and never chooses to right those wrongs. 

He would say things like "it's in the past, just drop it, okay?" And we would move on. 

Never did he apologize for much of what he said throughout life, but he always had that weak spot for Kate. Zac tries to act as if he doesn't completely love her, but I know he's wrong, and that's what makes this so difficult. 

Not only would I be destroying his family, but my own, and our immediate family combined.

I felt a shove against my back. 

"Taylor!" Natalie sleepily yelled. "Turn it off!" 

This happened every morning. 

I rolled my eyes, ignoring her as the alarm continued to blare throughout our bedroom. She groaned loudly, leaned her body on top of mine and reached over to the clock and slapped it. 

"Useless." Natalie mumbled under her breath as she crawled back onto her side of the bed and forcibly threw herself back down onto it. 

I knew she didn't mean what she said, but it still bothers me that she would think it. I'd strived my entire life to put a roof over our heads and give her and our children everything they could dream. Our music career might sound fun, but there were many times I'd rather live in a gutter than put another lyric to paper. 

To be honest, I feel as if my only reason for continuing in it most days, is because I see Zac everyday. Without it, I'd see him like any other family member: Here and there, on occasion, and holidays. 

I didn't want that nor would I ever want it. 

*****

I pulled into the parking lot later that morning, my usual Starbucks order in the cup holder. 

While I didn't need the caffeine or any type of human food, I was still able to enjoy it without any problems. 

Coffee, alcohol, and the occasional junk food were my main go-to's, but aren't they everybody's? 

I put my car in park and shut off the engine, stepping out into the rain and hurried towards the office front door. When I got to it, the door was still locked. 

We had no awning atop the door to keep the rain off of you at the studio, so I decided as nobody was around, I'd use the only power I was given - levitation.

When I was turned, it appeared that I had been gifted an extra super power, of sorts. 

The first time it happened, I was in the shower, leaving my replacement bottle of shampoo on the counter. I peeked my head out of the curtain, aggravated I'd have to soak the floor to retrieve it. 

"Nat!" I yelled out for her, expecting assistance. 

"Can it wait?!" She yelled back, aggravation in her voice. 

I groaned out loud, yanking the curtain shut once more and searched around for maybe another item I could use instead. Then it hit me. Literally. The shampoo bottle hit me in the side of my head on the outside of the curtain and toppled to the floor. 

"What is going on in here?!" Natalie's voice echoed through the bathroom. 

"Nothing." I sighed as I reached down through the curtain and grabbed the bottle from the floor. "Just dropped the shampoo." 

"It's a good thing you're not in prison." She snickered at me, and shut the door. 

"That's bar soap!" I yelled at the door. 

In this case, I'd decided since nobody was around, that I would levitate my coffee while I dug into my pockets for my office keys, since I was now getting soaked to the bone. 

As soon as I fished them out of my pocket, I heard him. 

"What the fuck!" Zac yelled, stopped in his tracks underneath his blue umbrella. 

The startling episode forced me to lose my concentration, the iced coffee crashing to the sidewalk. Our eyes were locked on one another's, both of our mouths agape. 

"What did I just see?!" Zac asked, stepping towards me cautiously. 

"What are you talking about?" I asked him nonchalantly. This was not at all what I'd dreamed of happening when he found out. 

Zac looked down at the spilled coffee on the sidewalk, ice littered around our feet. 

"That." He pointed to the cup, his gaze coming up to meet mine. "That shit was floating!" 

"How could a cup float, Zac?" I laughed, shaking my head, trying to dismiss it. 

I pulled open the door to the studio and shrugged myself out of my now completely soaked jacket, hanging it on the coat rack. 

"Fuck if I know!" Zac yelled from behind me in the doorway, collapsing his umbrella. "But I know what I saw!" 

I turned to face him, my cheeks reddening. 

"I think it's early in the morning and you don't know anything." I shrugged at him and moved across the room to my desk. I opened my laptop, bringing up the days work on my screen. 

Just then, Zac slammed the screen back shut, his face only a few breaths away from mine. 

"Taylor." Zac started. "Are you a magician?" 

I searched his eyes for a moment, realizing he posed this as a serious question and roared with laughter. His brows knitted in confusion in front of me, looking me over. 

"A magician?!" I said after catching my breath. "Wow, Zac. This is real life, not a comic book." 

"Why are you mocking me?!" Zac asked, frowning. "I know what I saw!" 

"You keep saying that, but I'm pretty sure you've lost your mind." I grinned, shaking my head. 

"You might not want to tell me now, but you will." Zac stomped away from me and over to his drum kit. 

I watched as he put his headphones on and played the familiar beat from Weird. I shook my head again and turned back to my laptop, pretending the day was ordinary. 

I wanted to tell him, but I couldn't, not that way. 

Instead, I pulled open the website for an Airbnb and scoured it's pages until I'd found a cabin he and I could go to. That way, if he reacted badly, it wouldn't happen at work. 

After awhile, I'd found the perfect place in a secluded area by a lake. I reserved it for this weekend, only two people on the itinerary. 

I'd finally tell him, once and for all.


	5. Chapter 5

Zac

The past three days have been exhausting. 

When I saw that coffee cup levitate before my eyes, I couldn't let it go. 

Taylor wouldn't explain himself, as he often would do to torment me. So I started researching levitation, telekinesis, and the occult online. I even went to the library to find other means of historical recollections and occurrences. 

Coffee was now my friend around the clock.

It wasn't something I normally drank, but I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Everything I'd read came back to supernatural abilities and witchcraft, and that it most likely would never exist in our modern world. 

But as I'd said a plethora of times by now, I know what I saw. 

It possessed my every waking thought and carried itself into my dreams. I'd wake up in a pool of sweat, waking up Kate in the process. The dreams were so vivid, I was almost sure they were real. 

So in short, I wasn't sleeping.

"Zac, are you feeling alright?" Isaac asked me, my head in my hands after missing the same note more than a handful of times. 

"No, man. I'm not." I shook my head, my eyes meeting his. "Something is really off with Taylor." 

Isaac looked over across the room at Taylor. He had his headphones on, eyes closed, as he played an unknown melody on the baby grand piano. Isaac arched a brow and then looked back at me. 

"He seems fine?" Isaac said, shrugging. 

"Dude. He's not." I said, my eyes locked onto his firmly.

"What do you mean?" Isaac asked, brows knitted into confusion. 

I shook my head and stood up from my keyboard, motioning Isaac to follow me. He didn't hesitate, quickly standing up and meeting me in the hall. 

We walked out of the studio front door and around the right corner into the alleyway where there were picnic tables and potted plants. There was also a mural we had painted on the side of the building, a rainbow of colors throughout it. I stared at it for awhile, trying to choose my words carefully. I was already crazy for thinking it, but uttering it out loud was sending me over the edge. 

"Well?" Isaac asked to my right. 

I looked at him, then up at the blue sky above us. I was afraid to look him directly in the eyes. Isaac wasn't someone who took kindly to wasting his time. His personality was pretty cut and dry; wanting the facts and only the facts, and how to solve it. 

"I saw something." I said, my eyes tracing the patterns of the clouds overhead. 

"In the sky?" Isaac asked, joining me in looking up above. 

I smirked, realizing I was just going to have to grow a pair and spill it out. I sat down atop a picnic table, my feet on the bench seat, Isaac watching me from where I'd just stood. He didn't move any closer to me, but fortunately he seemed to have patience today. 

"So.." I started, looking down at my feet and the sidewalk below me. "And this is gonna sound crazy. Because trust me, I don't even know what to make of it." 

I looked up at him expectedly, but he motioned me to continue. 

"I came to work on Tuesday morning, like any other day. You know, the day it was pouring ass out? Well, I came around the corner to unlock the door and Taylor was there already but…" I trailed off, wincing, wanting to back out of this. 

I wanted to just pretend it didn't happen. But I knew it did and I couldn't keep this to myself. 

"Just spit it out, Zac." Isaac huffed, nearly glaring at me. So much for patience, heh. 

"I saw Taylor making his coffee levitate." I blurted out, grimacing at the end of my sentence. 

"Uh...what?" Isaac asked, arching his brow at me. 

I shook my head and stepped down off of the table onto the sidewalk, throwing my hands in the air admitting defeat. 

It was no use. Isaac wasn't going to believe me. 

I started to walk past him when he stepped in front of me. 

"Hold on." Isaac said. He put his hand on my chest, stopping me from going any further. "Let's figure this out."

I sighed, but not with relief. 

I figured he would try and talk me through the whole scenario and then come up with the same plot Taylor had tried feeding me when it happened. That I was tired or had a weird dream, but I am without a shadow of a doubt, certain. 

Instead of running away, I nodded at him and turned back to face the picnic tables. 

We sat down, in depth of discussion for I'm not sure how long. 

"And you're absolutely one hundred percent sure that you saw him do this?" Isaac asked me, the wrinkles in his forehead deepening. 

"Absolutely." I nodded at him. 

"What the fuck?" 

Isaac's mouth went agape, causing me to turn around. Taylor was behind me, his cheeks red with anger. 

I looked back towards Isaac, his breathing stopping right alongside mine. 

"This is bullshit." Taylor scowled, turning on his heel and going back around the corner. 

Isaac and I exchanged a glance, and followed Taylor's path back inside. 

"Tay, just wait a second." Isaac said as he opened the studio door, Taylor shoving his laptop in his bag to leave. 

"No. Fuck that." Taylor snarled, shaking his head, not looking up at either of us. "You don't know what you're talking about!" 

"Then help us to!" Isaac shouted, crossing his arms, standing in the doorway. 

Taylor flinched and then froze, staring back at his older brother. 

"You wouldn't understand." Taylor said, shaking his head again, and turned towards the hallway that lead to the back of the studio. 

"Taylor, where are you going?!" I called out to his back. 

He didn't even slow down his pace. 

Panicked, I left Isaac where he stood and chased Taylor down the hallway at a full sprint. 

By the time I got to the back door, Taylor was already furiously reversing his car and sped off down the road. 

"How did he do that so fast?" I gasped, as I watched his taillights furiously disappear.

*****

I tried to call Taylor at least thirty times that day along with countless text messages; all have gone unanswered. 

At midnight, I gave up when I saw a text from Isaac. 

"Let's have a day off tomorrow, let things settle down. Have a good night." It read. 

He should know me better by now. I wasn't one to let things "settle down." I wanted answers and I wanted them now. 

Instead of going to sleep, I got out of bed, grabbing my coat off the back of the bedroom door. 

"Where are you going?" Kate asked groggily. 

"Taylor needs me, I'll be back." I hastily whispered back to her. She nodded then turned over to face the opposite wall. 

In a way, it wasn't a lie. 

Thankful she didn't fight me, I pulled my coat on over my white T-shirt and grabbed a clean pair of pants out the dryer. 

When I checked my phone and saw he still hadn't replied, I decided to go to his house. Maybe he would actually speak to me if I were to confront him in person. 

I pulled up at Taylor's, his car in the driveway. Relieved, I stepped out of my blue Tacoma and knocked on the door. 

Several seconds went by before the door opened slowly. 

"Zac?" Taylor asked, wearing only a pair of red boxer briefs, his hair a mess, standing in the darkness of the house. 

"Can we talk?" I asked him. He groaned and stepped out onto the porch shutting the door behind him. 

"I..we..I can't come in?" I asked him, jutting my thumb towards the door. 

"Family's asleep." He muttered. 

"Okay..but, you're outside in your underwear." I stated, eyeing his half naked body in front of me illuminated now by the porch light. 

I couldn't take this seriously now. 

Taylor was standing in front of me practically naked. He didn't know what he did to me clothed, much less the appearance I was seeing now. My heartbeat started pulsing in my ears, breath becoming shallow. 

"It never bothered you before?" Taylor questioned me, a look of confusion on his face. 

"I uh..I just mean.." I hesitated, unsure of what to say. 

As much as I wanted to jump his bones right then and there, I couldn't. I'd realized I was starting to become scared of him; the unknown of what he truly could be. 

Taylor looked at me for a second longer, then smirked at me and opened the door once more. 

"Come on if you're coming." He said, stepping inside and leaving it open for me. 

I swallowed hard, uncertain of how this night would unfold. 

It wasn't that I was afraid he would end me or anything like that, but I was starting to really wonder if I was afraid of the truth.


	6. Chapter 6

Taylor 

If I could sweat, I know my palms would be drenched. 

Zac followed me inside the house, removing his coat and placing it on the rack at the door, kicking his shoes off. Natalie was such a neat freak, which I detested, but I wasn't about to have an argument first thing with her about mud on the white carpet. 

I motioned to the brown colored sofa, he and I both sat upon it. 

The tension in the room was level ten. 

I didn't know what he knew, and what he didn't. 

"So." Zac said, turning towards me. 

"So." I said back, facing him. 

We sat there for what felt like a millennia, each of us not sure where to start. His body language was tense, and I didn't want a shouting match. Not here, not tonight, preferably never. 

"Are you gonna be honest with me?" Zac finally said, leaning towards me, his forehead wrinkling and hands clasped. 

"I.." I started, looking down at my bare legs, feeling rather naked since Zac had made me somewhat self conscious. "Maybe I should get dressed." 

Zac nodded once, exhaling loudly and leaned back on the sofa. 

I got up, carefully judging the pace of my steps towards the hall so as not to give away how fast I could move. I'd already done that once today and couldn't risk doing it a second time. 

When I got back into the bedroom, I quickly grabbed some pajama bottoms and a white T-shirt on and exited. Fortunately, Natalie slept like the dead, so I didn't have an issue with waking her. 

I stepped out of the bedroom, Zac at the end of the hallway. I arched a brow at him and walked up to him. 

"What?" I asked him. 

"That was all of ten seconds. How did you get dressed so fast?" Zac asked, crossing his arms over his chest, blocking the exit. 

I shook my head and pushed my long blonde hair back from my face. 

"Do we have to do this?" I asked him, trembling in my voice not masked. 

"We do." Zac nodded, his eyes flitting back and forth between mine. 

I sighed heavily, slumping my shoulders as best as I could to even show just the slightest bit that I was still human. 

"Why can't you talk to me about this?" Zac asked when I'd grown silent. He and I stayed in that hallway, him caging me in like an animal. 

The ever growing instincts to want to bury my fangs in his neck were proving to be overwhelming. I started hearing his heartbeat in my ears, the veins in his neck were pulsating under the skin, my mouth salivating. 

"Back up." I said, squeezing my eyes shut. I felt the burning of the color red of my eyes invading the natural blue color. 

"Why?" Zac asked, his footsteps moving back a couple of feet. 

I tried to steady my breathing, hoping to coax back the need to feed. 

"Taylor what is happening?" Zac asked.

"I can't..I can't do this. You have to go." I said, my eyes still squeezed shut, avoiding opening them, the feeling nowhere near subsiding. 

"Not until you talk to me!" Zac yelled, his footsteps coming close to me again. 

In a panic, I threw myself into the bathroom, slamming the door shut and locking it. 

"Tay!" Zac said loudly, twisting the knob furiously and rapping on the door. "Tay please!" 

"Zac go home!" I yelled back to him, my palms flat down on the cool white granite sink. I stared into the mirror, my reflection not present. 

I wished at that moment, I could see myself. To see the animal I have become, to see what everyone else saw. 

"Taylor, I'm not leaving." Zac said flatly, the sounds of his body sliding down the door on the opposite side as he sat against it. 

"Stay there all day for all I care." I sighed, wishing I could produce tears and cry. My heart was still here though, and it was breaking. 

I wanted nothing more than to be honest with him, my best friend. 

"I hate you." Zac's voice quivered, his footsteps stomping back through the living room, front door slamming behind him. 

It was then that I realized there was nothing left to do but to finally tell him about our weekend retreat. To make it up to him, to show him that I not only care, but that I was in love with him. 

*****

Zac

When I got home, I couldn't find myself going back to bed. I sat on the back porch, rolling a joint as I often did when I needed time to think. 

I lit the joint and inhaled deeply, my eyes scanning the wooded backyard until they set on the motorcycle under the cover in the detached garage. 

He and I had always done everything together. 

When either one of us was sick, we cared for the other. 

Whenever we were afraid, we found solace in one another. 

Whenever we fucked up, we confided in each other. 

Taylor was my first conscious thought in my life: When we were both under the age of five. Mom was in the bedroom folding laundry, telling us to be quiet and behave while she got chores done. 

"Want a cookie?" Taylor asked me in our playroom as I sat there playing with my matchbox cars. 

I furiously nodded at him, and he reached out for my hand. I obliged quickly and grasped his, lacing our fingers together. 

He lead me down the turquoise colored carpet and turned to me, his index finger over his mouth. 

"Shh.." he whispered, and I pressed my lips together. 

He grinned at me, continuing until we went down the steps slowly. Dad was in his recliner, mouth wide and snoring, a newspaper open on his lap, the TV low. 

We tiptoed through the living room and into the kitchen. Taylor reached his arms up on the counter and pulled down a purple ceramic bear, setting it on the floor. I toddled over to him happily, licking my lips and clapped my hands. 

Taylor pulled it open, the head coming off to reveal a stash of chocolate chip cookies. 

"For my best brother in the world." Taylor smiled as he handed it over to me. 

My face was transformed into a wide smile as I took it from him. I broke the cookie in half, handing him the other half. 

"The best brudder!" I beamed at him, his cheeks growing a perfect shade of pink. 

"Thank you." Taylor smiled, taking it from me and daintily bit the corner off it. 

"I love you." I said as I polished off the rest of my cookie and hugged him. 

"Love you too." He replied back, hugging me tighter. 

When my reflection of my past faded, I realized I'd been sobbing. I missed him, every part of him, and I wanted nothing more than to have that again.


	7. Chapter 7

Taylor

“Where are you going?” Natalie asked at my back as I toed on my shoes, large duffle bag over my shoulder. 

I hadn’t told her the reason for my leaving, and though I owe that to her, I was starting to grow weary at the idea of it all. I squeezed my eyes shut, then slowly opened them as I turned to her. Even though we were face to face, my love for her was diminishing more each day; my empathy was gone. 

There were some days I wanted to end Natalie in her sleep as it would be effortless to do. Many nights I tried, but then I’d think of my children and know they wouldn’t have a mother in their life anymore. 

Keep it together for the kids mentality? Possibly. 

Did I much care? Not really. 

“Away for the weekend.” I shrugged at her, readjusting the bag on my shoulder, reaching for the door.

Natalie went for the door and stood in front of it, crossing her arms, staring me down.

“With who?” She asked, her bottom lip threatening to quiver.

I sighed heavily at her, searching her eyes, begging myself to find a shred of love or remorse within this monster body of mine; I found none.

“If you must know.” I started, stepping towards her, closing the gap. “I’m going somewhere with Zac.” 

Her pulse beat faster in my ears as I knew it would. I felt like I needed to be tortured to feel alive. Nothing ever felt satisfying anymore as it should. There was an eternity of life ahead of me and I dreaded the notion of never enjoying anything to the fullest extent. 

“Where's the place?” Natalie asked while snaking her hands up around my neck, trying to pull my lips to hers. 

I chewed on my bottom lip feverishly, my eyes naturally settling on the side of her neck. The vein pulsated under the skin, my instincts threatening to take over. 

“A cabin.” I breathed, leaning down to her neck, pressing my lips against it and squeezed my eyes shut. I kissed her neck lovingly, teasing the vein with my tongue as Natalie moaned in my ear, dropping my bag to the floor.

“Do you have to?” She groaned against my chest, her right hand caressing my inner thigh, teasing her way up to my groin. Her breathing picked up as she landed on my erection over my jeans. “Stay with me.” 

“I can’t.” I moaned into her ear, gently attempting to break our contact by placing my hands on her shoulders to push her away.

She pushed back against me, becoming slightly aggressive. 

“No. Don’t leave me.” Natalie shoved herself against me, her voice full of tears.

“Natalie, please fuck off.” I groaned, coming out more hostile than I’d expected it to. But I wasn’t sorry. 

“What?!” She yelled at me, pulling away from me, her jaw agape, tears spilling over onto her cheeks. 

“I can’t do this.” I admitted and reached down grabbing my bag. 

“What can’t you do, Taylor?” Natalie asked, face full of hurt.

“This.” I motioned to the space between the two of us with my left hand. “I can’t do this with you anymore.” 

Natalie’s face fell, her eyes frantically searching mine. My eldest son came into the living room, a plate with a sandwich on it, can of soda in his opposite hand. He arched a brow at us, looking between us.

“Going somewhere?” Ezra asked, looking between Natalie and I, his eyes landing on the bag over my shoulder.

I nodded back at him, and swallowed hard.

“Where?” He asked, setting his plate and soda on the end table and stepping towards me.

“Can I just.. Can I just leave without the inquisition from everyone in this house?!” I bellowed, looking between the both of them. 

I shook my head and ripped open the door, the hinges snapping in half and falling onto the foyer floor. My eyes widened, afraid to look either one of them for a reaction. 

Instead, I continued on my way down the porch and to the new motorcycle, fastening my bag to its backseat. 

I reversed without looking back. 

*****

Zac

I was in the middle of drawing a sketch for possible upcoming album artwork, when I saw Taylor’s motorcycle pull in the driveway through my studio window. 

Unexpectedly, my stomach did backflips. 

As much as I wanted Taylor to be the way he used to be, the Taylor I craved, I knew he wasn’t that anymore. 

“Dad! Uncle Taylor is here!” My daughter Junia shouted from the living room. 

I sighed heavily and pushed my chair out from my desk, clicking the drawing lamp off and stepped out into the hallway. Taylor was already inside, his hands shoved in his jeans pockets, looking at me expectedly.

“Hey.” I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest. 

“Hey.” He replied, pulling a hand out of his pocket and running his hand through his hair. “Can we talk?” 

I nodded, and motioned towards the back porch with my hands. He set off towards the door, my eyes at his backside as we walked through the house to the back door. My eyes settled on his ass and I inwardly groaned as my dick twitched in response. Even now, with the way my heart’s been confused, some things never change. 

“So about last night.” Taylor started as we sat on the porch. His eyes watched as I put sprinkles of pot into a rolling paper. “I’m sorry.” 

I looked up at him and shook my head. 

“Sorry for what?” I asked him as I licked the rolling paper to start fastening it closed. 

“My behavior...I guess?” Taylor sighed to my right. “I know I have some explaining to do.”

“Damn right you do.” I said quickly, placing the joint in between my lips and lighting it. I inhaled deeply on it, closing my eyes. The red from the sun was encapsulating my vision, its warmth filling me up. 

“I’d like to make it up to you.” Taylor said, his left hand on my right knee. A common place it seemed to rest. If only it would inch higher…

“What?” I asked him, my eyes fluttering open, looking down at his hand then back up at him, his sunglasses permanently affixed to his face.

“Go away with me this weekend.” Taylor offered, chewing on his bottom lip. 

"Alone?" I asked him, my heart seemed to skip a beat. 

"Yes." He nodded. 

The prospect of having Taylor alone to myself was not something I was mentally prepared for. 

On one hand, he terrified me to my core; He wasn't acting like himself: The levitation ability, the quickness, asking me to back away from him when all I wanted was to be close. But on the other, I wanted to him to love me as much I was in love with him. We could figure these things out together if he would just be honest with me. 

"Okay." I said, smiling weakly. 

"Great. Let's go." Taylor smiled back, reaching his hand out for me to take. I did so, as I've always done, and allowed him to pull me to my feet. 

He turned to go down the steps, and then looked back at me. 

"But we're going on that." He pointed at my motorcycle in the garage. 

"Tay, I didn't get my permit yet." I admitted. 

It'd only been a couple of days since we got the bikes, and quite frankly I've obviously been too wrapped up in Taylor's rollercoaster to bother. 

"Oh." Taylor frowned, fully facing me. 

He looked down, twitching his mouth in thought, his right hand resting on the porch railing. 

"Guess we'll just ride together." He grinned, looking up at me. 

"I uh.. what?" I asked him, my body rigid. 

The thoughts spilling over from when he'd been behind me on my bike in the store came rushing back to me. I felt like I would surely die from blood gushing into my dick from being behind that perfect ass. 

"We'll ride together." Taylor repeated, lightly shoving his fingers into my chest playfully, smiling wide. 

"Okay." I nodded, exhaling a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding in. 

Taylor helped me quickly pack up a weekend's worth of clothing, excitement filling his voice. 

He explained how it would be a two hour drive on the bike together to where we were headed, and that we would be isolated from anyone else. 

"There is one thing though." Taylor chuckled as I strapped my helmet to my head. 

"What's that?" I asked him. 

"It's a cabin they rent out specifically for people on their honeymoon!" He laughed loudly, holding his belly as he did so.

"What the fuck?" I said suddenly filled with excitement, but did my best to mask it by acting disgusted.. 

"Oh come on, Zac. You totally want me." Taylor winked at me and shoved my shoulder then sat on his bike. 

Well he wasn't wrong. 

"Ha ha ha.." I mocked him, taking my place behind him on the bike, wrapping my arms around his middle. 

This was going to be either the best or worst weekend of my life.


	8. Chapter 8

Taylor 

Zac and I rode down Route 66, the wind blowing through our hair, his firm grip nestled around me. As soon as we saw the signs saying we were leaving Tulsa, I felt like the world lifted from my shoulders. 

But only momentarily. 

The thoughts ping ponging through my head were driving me to another dimension unknown. 

I initially went back to Natalie and my son and wondering what they were thinking about me. The way I'd left them, as if they meant nothing, was an awful judgment call. True, I will outlive them, but better it be known that I was good to them while they remained here on Earth with me. 

If all ended well with Zac this weekend, I was hopeful that they would accept my apology and then we could deal with whatever path that's chosen. 

For the first time, I was actually afraid of what Zac might think of me. He was always so brave, but very unpleasant when he was angered, which worried me.

His grip tightened around my stomach, making me wonder if the universe was giving me some sort of validation in its own twisted way. 

We pulled up to the cabin after a long distance on a dirt road I had to drive slowly on, gravel and rocks littered on its surface. 

The area surrounding it - breathtaking. 

The colors of the leaves were changed to reds, oranges, and yellows, a small pond behind it. Today's sunset reflected in the water, glistening on its surface.

Zac's grip let go of me as he stood up from behind the bike and started to undo his helmet. 

"Where did you find this place?" Zac looked at me curiously, his eyes trailing towards the cabin.

"Online." I shrugged, getting up from my seat and setting the kickstand for the bike, following suit in removing my helmet. 

"It's pretty." Zac said, and walked up the steps to the porch of the small wooden cabin. 

I watched him explore while I retrieved our bag that was strapped to the back. We only had room for one, so both of our belongings being crammed in were bursting at its seams. I'd also packed a basket of food on top of it and a few miscellaneous items he didn't know about. 

"Need help with that?" Zac said, hurrying down the steps towards me. 

"I'm good." I said, lifting it up over my shoulder with ease. 

He raised a brow at me. 

"That's easily over fifty pounds of stuff, yet you're carrying it like nothing. Not even a grunt?" He said, eyeing the bag on my shoulder while I walked towards him. 

"It's not a big deal." I said, and moved past him up to the door and putting in the code to unlock the door. 

It clicked quickly and gained us entry. 

I threw the bag down on the sofa across the room and held my hand on the door waiting for Zac. I turned to him, his eyes never leaving mine as he stepped past me. 

"So.." Zac said in the middle of the living room, slowly spinning in a circle to look at his surroundings. He stopped when he faced me once more. "Why are we here again?" 

"I wanted to come clean." I sighed, shutting the door behind me, then turning back to face him. 

"Okay." He nodded nervously. "Come clean."

The familiar sound of his pulse ramped up again slightly at his words. With it, my breaths were becoming more shallow, my chest heaving slightly. 

"This is going to be... difficult." I said, wincing and bracing myself by folding my arms over my chest. 

I was grateful for the sunglasses staying on my eyes this time since it's still barely daylight, but my stomach burned listening to his heartbeat continuing to intensify in my ears. 

"Just try." Zac said lovingly, stepping towards me, and reached his hand out, placing it on my forearm.

I wanted to push him away, avoid it altogether, say it was a mistake. But I was in too deep now. 

We were over two hundred miles from home, a single motorcycle for transportation, and nothing left but the truth. 

"Tay?" Zac asked, his eyes searching mine, warmth of his hand on my arm. 

My mouth was watering with grave intent, forcing me to swallow back the feast of my brother in front of me. 

"Zac back up." I warned him. 

Hurt washed over Zac's face as he quickly took a step back, folding his arms over his chest tightly. My vision went fully red, tinting everything in it's hue. 

"Taylor come on. Please stop pushing me away" Zac sighed from where he stood, his eyes roaming my body as I heaved my breaths trying to control myself. 

I squeezed my eyes shut and held my breath for a moment trying to push the feelings of the hunt back down inside of me so I could once again, speak. 

After a moment or two of meditation, I felt mostly okay to continue, but physically I wanted to pounce on him; all the way down to a single remaining red blood cell. 

"I'm trying to be honest with you, Zac. It's just.." I grimaced, looking over his lean body. "You're so mouth watering." 

Zac's eyes went wide, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. 

"What?" He asked, pressing his lips together. "Mouth watering?" 

"Don't mock me, Zac." I snarled at him, everything instinctual still a rolling boil in my gut.

"Sorry, I guess. I've just..It makes sense when you say things like that." He said, reaching into his pocket for something. 

"What are- what are you doing?" I asked him nervously. 

He pulled out a razor blade and held it a fingers width above his forearm. 

"If I were to cut myself. What would happen?" Zac asked, his voice quivering. 

"Zac don't!" I cringed, pressing my body up against the door, it cracking and whining against my force. 

His face turned into a smirk, lowering it millimeters closer to his arm, testing me.

I lunged for him then in high speed, grabbing his arms, pulling the razor blade out of his hand and tossing it across the room. It tinkered across the floor dramatically while I gripped both of Zac's wrists. 

"Taylor you're hurting me!" Zac winced, his eyes flitting between mine under my sunglasses. "Let go!" 

"I will not." I breathed, my eyes trailing over to his neck vein that pulsated heavily under his skin. 

Without further hesitation, I went for his neck, kissing it and licking at it, never letting go of his wrists. Zac's breaths quickly replaced themselves with low moans the more I teased his neck. I slowly nibbled at the vein just enough not to puncture it, dragging my fangs just slightly across the skin.

I slowly leaned my head back and met his face again, my face only a breath away from his. Zac's eyes were squeezed shut, mouth wide, head back; stiff. 

He slowly dipped his head back down towards me and swallowed hard, then opened his eyes. 

"I know what you are." Zac admitted, licking his lips, staring down at mine. 

"What am I, Zac?" I asked him lowly, biting down on my lip seductively. I moved my right hand slowly over his neck, goosebumps littering it as I did so. 

"A vampire." He breathed, then smashed his lips against mine. 

The fire in my belly roared to its fullest extent. My urge to drink him gripped and attempted to destroy everything human left within. 

I pushed Zac away from me and pinned him against the wall. My right hand was around his throat, his eyes growing wide once more. 

He opened his mouth to speak, but I pushed harder. 

Zac had to listen to me closely. 

"Now that you know, you cannot utter a single syllable of this." I said, his attempts to speak, futile against my grip. "That means anyone. Not Ike, not our parents, wives, whatever. I've kept this secret to myself, and I will not let you mess this up for me."

I stared into his eyes, his mouth opening and closing rapidly while attempting to speak. He used his left hand to tap on my forearm, and I loosened my grip. 

"I..I promise." His voice squeaked. 

I nodded once, letting go of my grip and exhaled deeply, running my hand through my hair as I watched him fall into a heap on the floor. 

"I promise, Taylor." Zac repeated himself as his rubbed his neck, visible redness growing. 

"I know." I sighed, crouching down to his eye level. "Because if you break that promise, I will kill you." I smirked. 

Zac simply nodded at my words. 

I turned my back to him and stared out the window at the last remaining pigments of the sun disappearing among the horizon. 

The night was young with two days left to ourselves and I knew exactly how I wanted to spend them: inside him.


	9. Chapter 9

Zac

Taylor stood across the room. Looking at what, I didn't know. His back had been turned away from me for what felt like a century, but I was afraid to move: 

He was stronger than me, faster than me, and could drink me up in seconds if he wanted to. 

Everything I'd come across in what I'd found on the internet, made me believe that vampires were not real. Yet here I was, in a room with one, and I hadn't known. 

How long had he been this way? 

It was clear now that nobody, even Natalie, didn't know about his transformation...except for me. 

I wanted to speak. I wanted to ask him every thought that crossed my mind.

This wasn't the Taylor that I knew. 

The Taylor that I knew, was the same older brother that had my back at every turn. He was someone who would drop everything in a moment no questions asked. The same guy that I always looked up to, who I confided in. 

Now? He was a complete stranger. 

I don't even know who this person is.

I was afraid of what he might do to me; the agony in my throat a fresh reminder. 

"Hungry?" Taylor asked, his back still to me while he peered out the window, darkness beginning to fill the room. 

I nodded, then remembered he couldn't see my answer. 

"Mhm." Was all I could say, my throat aching. 

He turned around and faced me, removed his sunglasses and perched them on top of his head. 

His normal self appeared to me as it always had, but now I knew his biggest secret. 

Taylor stepped towards me and while this used to make my dick twitch, I was now subconsciously pressing my back into the wooden wall to get away from him. 

He noticed my movements, his brow furrowing. 

"I'm sorry." Taylor sighed, crouching down in front of me once more, resting his forearms on his thighs. "I..got scared. I shouldn't have done that."

My eyes trailed down to the floor as they threatened to well up with tears. 

The one person I knew, better than myself, was now a stranger to me. 

"Zac?" Taylor said, my eyes still fixated on the floor. "Zac please." 

I looked up at him, a deep frown on his face. 

"I feel like I've lost my best friend." I admitted, my voice quivering as I attempted to hold back tears. 

"What?" Taylor asked, his tone full of concern. "Why?" 

He scooted more towards me and pulled his long legs up under himself. 

I wanted to move away, to run.

"You're not the same. I don't know you." I said, rubbing my throat again, each word beginning to get less painful than the last. 

"But you do know me!" He retorted, reaching for my ankle, the closest body part he could grasp. "I'm still the same!" 

"No." I stated flatly, looking down at his hand wrapped around my ankle, my eyes flitting back up to meet his. "You're not." 

I jerked my leg away from him and stood up with my newly found strength. He followed suit, gracefully, and locked his eyes with mine. 

I broke away from him and walked over to our bag and began yanking out my clothes, piece by piece. 

If I couldn't trust him, why stay with him?

"I'm not that different, Zac! You didn't even notice for four years!" Taylor shouted at my back. 

I stopped mid throw of a shirt, gripped it, and turned to face him. 

"Four...years?" I asked him, my mouth agape. 

He nodded and sighed. 

"Four fucking years, Taylor?! You've been lying to me, to everyone else, for four fucking years?!" I snarled at him and tossed the shirt down on the floor in front of me. 

"What was I supposed to do?! Go up to you one day and be like oh so by the way, I'm a vampire now. Just thought you should know?!" Taylor snapped back at me, closing the gap between us. 

"You're such a coward." I spat at him, shaking my head, my eyes fixated on his. 

"You think it's easy being me?!" Taylor said, his breaths heaving, the heat from them billowing off of my cheeks. Our faces were a nose length apart, our eyes narrowed at each other.

His eyes flitted furiously between both of mine, his breathing now accelerating to a hyperventilation level.

I wasn't going to be driven into submission. 

We were going to face this head on; I deserve the answers and the truth. 

Just then, Taylor's hands gripped my biceps, his pupils dilating quickly. 

I wanted to squeeze my eyes shut, I wanted to pinch myself awake. 

I wanted to do everything I could to wake up from this nightmare unfolding in front of me. But the more I looked at him, the more he was changing before my eyes. I couldn't look away. 

The color of his naturally blue eyes began to change to red, bits of gold cascading around the very large black pupils. 

My eyes widened at what I was witnessing, afraid to blink. 

"Taylor stop!" I shouted, my eyes welling up with tears. Not from sadness, but actual fear. 

"I can't." Taylor said softly in between rapid breaths, his fingers digging deeper into my arms. "You want to see what I put up with? Here's the truth." 

"I don't want to die." I shivered, but not from cold: from terror.

"That's what I said, too." Taylor said softly, then kissed me slowly like it was our real first time. 

My senses invigorated tenfold, the taste of his lips familiar from a few moments before all of this. 

Before I knew what he was.

Before when I thought just being in love with my own brother was confusing enough. 

Now, I'm in love with a vampire.


	10. Chapter 10

Zac

After the four course dinner that Taylor prepared for us at lightning speed, I found myself sitting on the sofa with him in front of a roaring fire in the cabin’s fireplace. It was laid out with beautiful stone work embedded into the wall, different varieties of candles on its mantle. 

“You seem so far away.” Taylor said to my right, his arms laid across the back of the sofa. 

I hesitantly pulled my eyes away from the fire and looked at him, a frown on his face. The fire illuminated all of his perfect features, his eyes back to their blue color. 

“I’m just thinking.” I said low, barely audible enough for myself to hear, my eyes fixated on the blue plaid pattern the sofa was made out of.

“What about?” Taylor asked curiously and scooted his body more towards mine on the sofa. 

For the first time in over fourteen years, I felt myself not wanting him like I used to; things were different now. My lust for him was mostly replaced by worry and uncertainty, and I didn't know what to do with those feelings.

I kept thinking back to when I was about twelve, him fourteen. 

*****

"Are you awake?" Taylor whispered in my left ear as he tapped on my shoulder. 

My eyes slowly opened, his face very close to mine, his bright blonde hair glistening in the moonlight from the window in our bedroom. 

"What?" I groaned, rubbing my eyes as they threatened to close on him. 

"Come on, wake up. You gotta see this." Taylor hastily whispered, pulling on one of my arms. 

"Can't it wait?" I sighed sitting up in bed, watching him as he rustled around the room. "What are you looking for?" 

Taylor pulled out a VHS tape from inside a backpack he'd stowed under his full sized bed and shook it near my face. 

"A movie?" I asked him, arching a brow and looked at the analog clock on our shared nightstand. "It's two am!" 

"Shh!" Taylor warned, putting his hand over my mouth quickly. I licked his hand as I always did and he twisted his face up in disgust. 

"Ugh quit that!" Taylor said, wiping his hand off on his blue plaid pajama bottoms. 

I laughed quietly, more awake than I'd been. 

"So anyway." Taylor started. "I stole this from Ike's room. It's a uh.." Taylor blushed quickly and looked down at the floor. 

"A what?" I asked curiously. 

"A porno." Taylor mumbled. 

"A what? Why… would we want to watch that?" I said, my face visible with the disgust I was feeling. 

Taylor rolled his eyes. 

"Aren't you curious?" He asked me, tucking his hair behind his ear. 

"No!" I said and covered my head with my pillow. 

"Come on, Zac." Taylor said, attempting to pull the pillow off of my face, but I only held onto it tighter. "Please watch it with me." 

"No!" I repeated myself, grasping the pillow with all my strength, Taylor tugging on it harder.

A tearing noise filled the room and I gasped, removing the pillow from my face. There were hundreds of feathers floating through the air, covering me, Taylor, and most of what we owned. 

Our eyes met each other through the cascades of feathers falling down around us, both our mouths agape. 

"Now look what you did!" I said, a feather sticking to the wetness of my bottom lip. I pulled it off of my mouth, spitting to get the remnants of it out. 

Taylor chuckled in front of me and jumped on top of me, pinning me down. 

"Let's see you get away from me now!" Taylor laughed on top of me, tickling my sides, my belly roaring with laughter. 

"Stop!" I gasped between fits. 

"Say the magic word!" Taylor said, his voice cracking from his puberty change. 

"Star crunch!" I said, and he stopped, both of us out of breath. 

Our eyes met briefly, his body collapsing onto mine, both of us out of breath. 

"You're so fun, Zac." Taylor panted on top of my chest, attempting to catch his breath. 

"You are too, Tay." I smiled weakly, the tiredness overtaking me. 

We never did watch the video together, but that was the first night we ever slept in each other's arms. 

*****

"The first night we slept together." I said looking from the blue plaid patterned sofa, up to Taylor's blue eyes. 

He blinked a couple of times at me, then twitched his mouth up in thought. 

"I remember that night, very well, actually." Taylor smirked, the crinkling at the corner of his eyes appearing. 

"Do you?" I asked him, chewing on my bottom lip. 

"Oh yeah." He nodded quickly, his eyes watching my mouth. "I'd never forget that night." 

"Really? Why's that?" I asked, my heart beating a little more quickly. 

"It was the night I fell in love with you." Taylor admitted smoothly, bringing his right hand up to my face. 

"You … what?" I said, my voice trembling, heart pounding in my ears.

Taylor's face fell from a smile to serious and leaned his body towards mine. The only sound in the room was my heartbeat and the crackling of the fire to our left.

His lips slowly brushed up against mine, soft, then he parted them to nibble on my lower lip. Taylor pulled back slightly, his eyes barely open, searching mine. 

The fire cast an orange and yellow tone to his face and pulled the blonde highlights in his hair out more; beautiful. 

"Do you…" he said, then swallowed. "Do you love me?" 

"I've always loved you." I sighed lightly against his lips and pulled him more on top of me. 

Soon, our making out session escalated into slow yet forceful thrusts, our hard dicks pressing against one another. I felt like a teenager again, though I knew I had a life at home: I still had Kate and my children. 

Taylor's hand trailed down to the top button on my jeans when I stopped him. 

"What's wrong?" Taylor asked, his breathing ragged. 

"We can't." I said, pushing myself to an upright position. 

"Why?" He asked me, frowning. 

"I just can't. Not yet." I admitted, afraid to look him in the eye. 

"Did I do something wrong?" Taylor asked while he rebuttoned his shirt. 

"It's not you." I said, shaking my head and reached down to grab my shirt off of the floor. 

"Oh so it's the "it's not you it's me" bit, huh?" Taylor retorted, getting up off of the sofa. 

"What? Taylor, it's not personal." I said defensively, my brow knitted in confusion. 

"Then what is it?" He asked, crossing his arms in front of me. 

"I just can't, okay? At least not yet." I said, then made my way around the back of the sofa. "I'm going to bed." 

"Fine. Just run away like you always do!" Taylor yelled at my back. 

I slammed the door behind me, locked it, and threw myself on the bed. 

As much as I've always wanted this, I can't do this.


	11. Chapter 11

Taylor 

The door to Zac's room slammed, the walls of my heart quaking within myself. 

I stared at the backside of that door willing the courage to rise above myself. I wanted to go in there and demand he talk to me. Shutting me out, in the physical and mental sense, was not something I could deal with very well. You might say it's my biggest pet peeve. 

Instead, I retreated and tucked my tail by plopping down on the sofa, covering my hands over my face. I thought we were getting somewhere, finally embracing what lies inside of us.

What else was I wrong about? 

I groaned loudly and leaned forward on the sofa, staring at the embers of what used to be a roaring fire. My eyes were fixated on all of the oranges and yellows peeking out from under the coals, somehow trying to piece together what my life was supposed to be. The fire, or lack thereof, felt like symbolism; it used to be bright, fiery, strong and passionate. Now, it lay there, smoldering of what used to be. 

Was this, in fact, a personification of my life? 

"I'm sorry." I heard from behind me. 

I twisted around and saw Zac standing there. His hair was out of his ponytail clad in his pajamas, arms folded tightly over his chest. 

"Me too." I admitted, nodding at him. "I shouldn't have done this." 

Zac's eyes locked onto mine his brows knitted close together. 

"No." He said, untucking his arms and leaned forward, resting his hands on the sofa. "It's good we're here." 

"Oh?" I questioned him, licking my lips as I watched him speak. 

"Mhm." He sighed. "It shows me I was wrong." 

"Wrong about what?" I asked him, removing myself from the sofa and standing opposite him. 

"About us." Zac sighed. 

"Which part?" I questioned, swallowing deeply. 

"All of it." He said, raising his arms up and slapping his hands down onto his thighs. "None of it was right." 

"You..you don't mean that, Zac." I said, stepping around the sofa towards him. 

Zac's eyes met mine, and they looked different. Darker, even, as if the lust from him I've seen all of these years had vanished in only moments. 

"I think I do, Tay." Zac admitted, his arms going back up into his folded position. 

"Is it because of what I said? Because of what I am? You know I can't change that, Zac!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. 

I huffed loudly and retreated back to the window, staring out into the thick darkness of the woods surrounding us. 

"Tay, I'm sorry." Zac said behind me. "You're right, you can't change it. But I think we need to stop while we're ahead. We go on tour in a couple months. Let's just..cool it, okay?" 

"Stop?" I chuckled, shaking my head and turning back towards him. "How can I stop, Zac?" 

"What do you mean?" Zac asked, his voice trembling. 

I stepped closer towards him, my right hand slowly caressing his jawline and tucking my fingers behind his ear. 

"How can I stop, when you look like this? Make me feel like this?" I asked him, our lips only a breath apart. 

His body shuddered against my touch, his eyes fixated on my lips. 

"I.." Zac started to say, but then lost his voice. His eyes flitted up to mine, ragged breaths coming out of him. 

I pressed my lips against his full pillowy lips quickly and firmly, grasping both sides of his face as I did so. 

Zac groaned against my mouth and pushed his hands against my chest, breaking our lips apart. 

"No!" Zac shouted, keeping his hands pressed against me. "Please, Taylor, stop." He begged. 

I bit down on my bottom lip, the disappointment and embarrassment I felt was overwhelming. 

It was one thing to be rejected, but another to be humiliated. 

Instead of saying anything else, I nodded that I understood him, and put my hands up into a surrender. 

"Goodnight, Taylor." Zac sighed, shaking his head, and retreated back to his room. 

The door shut behind him with a faint click. 

I closed my eyes in thought, and found myself laughing lowly as I walked out onto the front porch of the cabin. 

My eyes scanned the treeline, a rustling in the distance. 

"Right on time." I grinned and lit a cigarette, waiting. 

After a moment, I felt a presence next to me on my right. 

"Took you long enough." I exhaled on my cigarette and met her eyes. 

"Yeah well, I had to catch dinner first." She said, her fangs showing as she smiled. "How's he doing?" 

"As to be expected I suppose." I shrugged. 

She took the cigarette out of my hand and pulled a hard drag. 

"Oh come on, don't Bogart my fucking cigarette, Miss Branch.." I huffed. 

"You're a child, you know that?" Michelle rolled her eyes at me, and handed it back. "So. Are we doing this or what?"

"Not tonight." I shook my head. "But you and I...now that can be arranged." I grinned at her and she laughed airily. 

"Sure thing, Hanson. But you know..I want it in the pond this time." Michelle said confidently, her wavy brown hair billowing in the slight breeze. 

"Pond huh?" I asked her, snuffing out my cigarette under my boot. 

"Yup." She smiled, her once brown eyes slowly filling up with red.

I grabbed her by her ass and picked her up against my body with ease, smashing my lips onto hers. Her hands roamed all over my back, pulling me so close. The lust in her eyes as we broke slightly between kisses, was enough to send me over right then and there. 

"Let's go." I gasped. 

Michelle nodded as she grabbed onto my back and wrapped her legs around me tightly. I set off towards the pond, Michelle kissing and licking my neck, slightly penetrating it with her fangs very so often. I'll admit, it was hard to keep a sprint with these distractions.

We got to the water's edge, our clothes coming off at a rapid speed, down to our underwear. I stepped up to Michelle and tore off her bra in one quick motion, then pulled her panties down just mid thigh. 

"I said in the water, Taylor." Michelle said sternly as I was about to enter her. 

"Fine fine." I replied, as we sank into the water, bites and kisses peppering one another.

*****

"Ok, so now that's taken care of. What about your brother?" Michelle asked as she sat on a large boulder next to the water in only her t-shirt.

"He wants to wait." I shrugged as I pulled my shirt back on for the second time tonight. 

"But he knows what you are, right?" Michelle asked, a brow arched in my direction. 

I nodded in reply and looked up at her. 

"You know the rules. If he knows, he gets turned. No exceptions." Michelle said coyly. 

"I'm aware." I rolled my eyes at her. "I'm the one who told you that!" 

"Then you shouldn't need a reminder, Taylor. You have forty eight hours, or I do it myself." Michelle said as she got up and disappeared into the woods and out of sight. 

"Great." I sighed as I looked back up at the cabin and shook my head, making my way back inside.

Lord only knows how this will go.


	12. Chapter 12

Zac

It took me ages to fall asleep. 

I stared at the ceiling, resorting to counting each wooden beam dozens of times before my eyelids got heavy enough. 

Taylor was a vampire. 

What should I do with that? What could I do with it? 

I know when he said not to tell anyone, he was serious. But I knew he would never have it in his heart to actually kill me over it. Taylor might be a vampire, but I know his heart is still the same. 

If he were any real threat to me or anyone else, I'd think something would have happened by now. 

But what if he got out of control? 

What if one day I don't step back quickly enough and life as I know it, is over for me? 

I'd never be able to see my children grow up or to hold Kate one more time. 

While I know I'm in love with Taylor, Kate's face flashed into my mind the moment he and I kissed; It was sloppy, dirty, wrong, and everything forbidden. 

Kate, on the other hand, had been there for me through everything that Taylor had put me through: all of the heartbreak, the fights, the never-ending battle of who's right this time. 

Now, I lay alone, by myself, with Taylor in another room - cold and afraid. 

I never thought that today, I would be considering the end of my life. But here I was, gripping the comforter on top of me to remind myself I'm still here. 

Taylor's hand around my throat wasn't the closest I'd ever been to death. Aside from nearly falling on my head out of the treehouse as a child, this terrified me more. 

He knew everything about me. Completely naked in its rawest form: intellectually and spiritually. It used to be mutual and now, he felt like a stranger to me. 

I was in the midst of a nightmare, when I felt the bed sink and an arm wrap around my middle from behind. 

*****

Taylor had lunged into the crowd during a show and gripped the neck of an innocent concertgoer with his teeth. The crowd scattered in one direction towards the door. Ike and I were frozen on the stage, staring down at our brother as he clung onto the innocent woman's body. 

A majority of the crowd was gone except for the few remaining trying to shove their bodies out all at once, when her body hit the wooden floor. 

His back remained to us, his rapid breaths apparent by the way his shoulders went up and down. I followed his gaze to one patron left in the venue, her phone filming him. My breath caught in my throat as I watched him speed towards her and fist the phone, crumbling it into pieces. 

"Taylor don't!" Ike yelled to my right, a quiver in his stern voice. 

Taylor slowly craned his head back towards our older brother, his eyes briefly catching mine on the way. A smirk pulled at his blood soaked lips as he used his right hand to snap the girls neck, her too, falling to the floor with a thud. 

"You'll never forget who runs the show now." He growled, darting out of sight into the shadows. 

*****

"Tay?" I whispered, turning over towards him. 

He edged back some, allowing me to lie flat on my back. I looked up at him, his blue eyes barely visible from the moonlight. 

"Go back to sleep." He smirked down at me whispering, his fingers slowly running across my stomach, on top of my t-shirt. 

"I can't." I whispered back, a lump in my throat forming as I felt the heat behind my eyes starting back up again. 

All I was seeing now was a monster before me. Not my brother, not a lover. 

"Why?" Taylor asked, his brows slightly knitting together, lightness and curiosity in his voice. 

"I'm scared." I admitted, a tear falling down the side of my face and into my hair. 

His fingers stopped moving abruptly on my stomach, and he sat upright to face me. 

"Are you scared of me?" He asked, chewing on his bottom lip. 

I stared at him for a long moment, lying on my back, looking up at my older brother; the same person I grew up with, fell in love with. But now, was someone completely different. 

I didn't know what to do with that. 

Or, what that would do to me.

I nodded twice quickly and covered my face with both hands, both eyes flooded with tears. I broke into a full sob, the pressure in my sinuses threatening to choke me. 

"Zac..." Taylor sighed. I felt him scooting closer towards me, his body heat billowing around me once more. 

Taylor lifted my left arm up off of my chest and laid his head on my shoulder as I sobbed. He said nothing but with each passing sob, he held me tighter. 

"I love you, Zac. That'll never change." Taylor promised, caressing my right side. 

*****

The next morning, I woke up to find the room empty. 

I frowned and slowly sat up, my entire body feeling like I got hit by a truck. I rubbed my blood shot eyes and padded slowly on the hardwood floor towards the master bathroom. 

I turned the knobs to the shower and peeled my clothes off, stepping into the water. I pressed my palms against the cold surface of the tile, my head deep under the running water, and held my eyes shut. 

"Are you okay?" Taylor said to my left outside the fogged up glass door. 

"Why wouldn't I be?" I rolled my eyes. "I don't know who my own best friend or brother is anymore." I snapped in his direction. 

The anger and bitterness from how I felt about the nightmare last night, were eating at my insides. Taylor didn't even have to say it; I knew this was going to be something I couldn't overcome. 

Taylor quickly pulled open the frosted glass door, forcing me to cover myself. 

"What the fuck!" I yelled at him startled, examining the hurt on his face. 

"You know me, Zac." Taylor said softly, shaking his head. "If I were any different, you'd have found me out years ago." 

I just stared at him, awkward position and all. His eyes never roamed my body, or acted as if anything was out of place. The only sounds were the water hitting the ceramic tile below my feet. 

"I just need to be alone, okay? Away from you." I said sternly and gripped the handle to the shower door to shut it. 

It wouldn't move; Taylor refusing to let go of it. 

"Can I shower in peace, please?" I asked, arching a brow at him. 

I'd always dreamed of being naked with Taylor just not like this. Maybe, not ever. 

"We need to talk about this, Zac." Taylor sighed, frowning. 

"And we will. But I'm vulnerable right now, dude." I said, pointing towards my body.

"Well don't take forty five minute showers next time and I won't have to check on you." Taylor stated, arching a brow. "

Forty five minutes? 

"What?" I asked, confusion on my face. 

I looked at my fingertips on my right hand, all of them pruny. My eyes met Taylor's again, concern in his. 

"Okay yeah, I'm coming out." I said, and grabbed my shampoo, turning back to the running water that was barely room temperature. 

The door shut once more and I quickly ran my fingers through my hair and finished up just as the last of the hot water disappeared. 

After getting dressed, I looked down at my small amount of clothes I had, and then out the window. It was a nice day out, and I figured I just needed to get away and be alone with my thoughts. 

I pulled my coat on and gripped the handle to my bedroom door, chewing on my bottom lip in thought. I turned back to the window and stared out at the lake watching a couple of mallards slide to the surface. 

"A bit of normal is what I need." I mumbled to myself and grabbed the baggie of pot out of my jeans pocket that lay folded on the dresser. 

I turned back to the window once more and pried it open slowly, heaving my body out of it, my feet resting on the soft ground below. 

Once firmly planted, I slowly made my way around the house and into the woods towards the waters edge, out of sight.


	13. Chapter 13

Taylor 

I wanted, more than anything, for Zac to be okay with this; for him to accept me the way he'd always had. 

The optimist in me felt like he eventually would be, but the pain in my heart was growing exponentially. 

What I regret the most, is threatening him in the way that I did; putting my hands on him was something I would regret every day. I'd protected him from the moment he was born; his armor, his shield. 

Now the one thing even I couldn't protect him from, was me. 

*****

"Boys! Dinner!" Mom called from downstairs, Zac and I enthralled in the newest Nintendo game. 

"I will beat you this time!" I yelled through gritted teeth, smashing the buttons on the controller in a rapid succession. 

"Never!" Zac yelled back, a widespread grin on his face as he balanced on the floor on his knees. 

We were mere inches from the ten-inch colored TV screen, Mortal Kombat our poison.

Just then, the lights went out, the room filling up with darkness. 

"What happened?!" Zac yelled to my right, the sounds of the carpet ruffling as he ran to the light switch, followed by him flicking the lever repeatedly. 

"I don't know." I said curiously in his direction, standing to my feet. 

I walked over towards his voice, my hands out in front of me in a zombie like fashion. The room was pitch black and I couldn't see a damned thing. 

Eventually, I found Zac's face with my hands, him swatting at me. 

"Stop that." Zac said, shoving me. 

"Don't be rude." I rolled my eyes at him, then at myself, as if he would have been able to see my reaction. "it's not like I can see, you know." 

I reached out for the door and grasped the knob when Zac reached out for me. 

"Wait." Zac said, sliding his hand onto my left forearm slowly. 

My pulse slightly quickened at his touch and I didn't know why. Before I could understand what was happening, he pecked me on the cheek. I felt the heat rush to my cheeks, grateful the lights were out. 

I gasped at his touch, but no words came from either of us.

We stood there in silence with bated breath as the bedroom door swung open, a bright light shining in our faces. 

"What the hell?!" I screeched, bracing my eyes from the light. 

"Power's out." Dad said matter of factly.

Dad eyed us curiously and quirked an eyebrow. 

"Dinner's ready. Come on downstairs." He said, motioning with his flashlight down the hall. 

*****

I heard a rustling in his cabin room and stood up from the rocking chair next to the fireplace expecting Zac to emerge. 

"A bit of normal is what I need." I heard him whisper on the other side of the door. 

My ears perked up at this and slowly stepped towards his door when I heard his window open, then silence. 

I sighed heavily and rested my forehead against his door knowing he had no intention of talking to me right now. It's not as if I could blame him, but it hurt just the same. 

If Zac wanted his space, I would have to give it to him. 

I retreated from the door and decided to go out for a ride alone to clear my head. 

Instead of hiding and pretending to still be human, I allowed my predatory senses to fill me up. I jumped down the porch and onto the motorcycle at full speed and took off down the long driveway back to the main road. 

I pulled into a small coffee shop in the tiny town a few miles out that laid nestled in a small shopping center, a handful of cars in the lot; an iced coffee sounded indescribably amazing. 

I walked into the small shop, a small jingle of Christmas bells ringing overhead as I passed through the entryway. I smirked to myself knowing that even though I wasn't my human form anymore, Christmas still remained my favorite holiday. 

"What can I get for ya?" The young barista smiled at me leaning forward on the counter. 

She was very short and slender, brunette, with brown eyes to match. Her apron was a burgundy color, a white T-shirt nestled underneath. 

"Iced coffee, whipped cream and caramel drizzle." I smiled back at her through my sunglasses. 

"Coming right up." She grinned, and lightly tapped her fingertips on the counter as she broke away from it.

I watched as her body flowed with ease, her wide hips the perfect ratio to her slender frame; I found myself mesmerized. 

"Well well well." A voice came behind me, causing me to quickly turn around, knocking off a jar of candy canes onto the floor. They skittered around our feet, the clanking sounds they made echoed around us. 

"Michelle!" I hissed, gripping her arms, her face stone. "Are you following me?" 

"Rules are rules, Tay." Michelle said bluntly, shrugging my hands off of her shoulders. "I'm not leaving until you fulfill what needs to be done." 

She flashed her fangs at me just long enough for me to get the hint. Believe me, hint taken. 

"Is uh...is there a problem here?" The barista said behind me. 

"Mind your business." Michelle snapped over my shoulder, her eyes threatening to crimson.

"I'm sorry, what?" The barista gasped from behind me.

"Michelle. Go outside." I said flatly, pointing towards the door. 

She rolled her eyes at me and exited the cafe, the jingle bells now not as serene as they once were. 

I spun around quickly back to the barista, my coffee on the counter before her. 

"I'm sorry about that." I apologized, wincing. "She's never really been polite." 

I bent down and plucked up each candy cane and returned it to it's receptacle. When I stood up, I placed it back onto the counter gingerly, biting down onto my bottom lip as I did so; I was nothing short of embarrassed. 

"It's okay." She sighed, shaking her head. "Thanks for cleaning up the mess."

I paid for the coffee, a few candy canes, and left a large tip for good measure. 

When I walked outside, Michelle was nowhere to be found. I shook my head and sat at a picnic table when my cell phone rang. 

"Hey." I sighed, sipping on my coffee. 

"Where are you?" Natalie asked, her voice quivering, our children playing in the background. 

"I'm at a cafe in this small town a couple hours from home." I replied, fiddling with a knot in the wooden top of the picnic table. 

"Come home." Natalie said, sniffling. 

"I...I will. Just not yet. Not until tomorrow. Okay?" I said, fighting back the urge to deeply huff annoyance between each word. 

I didn't know if it were true on her end, but I knew it was on mine; I wasn't in love with her anymore. 

Natalie and I had courted for only a short while before it was found out that she was pregnant with our first child and son, Ezra. 

At the time, it was a deep seated mistake. 

You see, I was with Michelle during the same time and we'd had a blow out a couple of days before. In short, we were taking a break from seeing one another. 

Natalie's junior prom was coming up that weekend and I thought it was a good idea to go see her, get away from anything familiar. 

It was known when I'm upset, I tend to run from my problems versus solve them. A flawed personality trait, but nonetheless, a big part of how I cope with things. 

"Try this." Natalie chuckled next to me in the limousine on the way to her prom. 

She was wearing a powder blue ankle length dress, her hair curled, and way too much makeup for my taste. 

I could tell she was nervous, but so was I. We didn't go to public school growing up, so while the idea wasn't new, I was getting first day jitters. 

"What is it?" I asked as I took the aluminum flask from her hand. 

"Try it and see." She laughed, her eyes trained on me. 

I shrugged and knocked it back: peach schnapps. 

"You girls and your fruity drinks." I snorted and handed it back to her nearly empty. 

Instead of taking it, she swatted it to the floor and positioned herself on top of me, then crashed her lips on mine. 

I wanted to resist. I wanted to tell her this was a mistake and we should be just friends. But the way her hunger for me filled up that limousine, I gave in. 

We never made it to prom. 

"Do what you need to do." Natalie sighed. "But just know, I'll wait forever for you if I have to." 

I opened my mouth to speak but the call ended before I could utter a syllable in return. 

The only heart I was afraid of breaking now, wasn't hers, Michelle's, or even mine: it was Zac's.


	14. Chapter 14

Zac

I wanted sunny skies and to put my toes in the water. But instead, I found myself sitting at the water's edge with dreary skies and a cold breeze. 

While I might not have my idea of paradise, I did have a freshly rolled joint in my grasp. 

I lit my joint and closed my eyes, slowly pulling on it, allowing myself to drift away, if even for a moment. 

*****

"Come sit with me." Taylor weakly smiled, pulling his shoulder length dirty blonde hair up into a ponytail. 

He always did this when he was nervous, so anxiety noted. 

"What's up?" I asked him as I took my seat next to him on the black leather sofa at the studio. 

We were in the process of recording Underneath, or attempting to. Our label was making it exponentially difficult to agree on anything, so tempers were flared on the regular. 

"I…" Taylor started. 

His eyes dropped their gaze from mine. He started dragging his hands across his thighs towards the knee and back up, repeatedly. He swallowed hard, his cheeks turning red. 

"Tay?" I asked him in the most soothing voice I could muster, putting my hand on his shoulder as a symbol of comfort. 

He looked back up at me then, his eyes filling with tears. 

"Natalie's pregnant." He choked out, a tear escaping from his right eye, which he quickly wiped away. 

"What?" I gasped at him, my jaw agape. "Pregnant?" 

He nodded. 

"Are you sure it's yours?" I asked him, a little too sarcastically, but with laced with concern. 

He nodded. 

"What are you going to do?" I questioned, searching his eyes. "What about us?" 

"I don't know…" Taylor trailed off. He sniffled and leaned his head back on the wall, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Hey guys what's the -" I heard Ike say over my shoulder. 

I turned to face him, the annoyance on his face dropping to concern. 

"Tay? What's going on?" Ike asked, stepping around me and crouched down to the floor just below Taylor's eye level. 

Taylor looked at his big brother, a sob escaping his lips. He brought both hands up to his face as he cried, Isaac turning to me for help. 

"Zac, what happened?!" Ike asked, anxiety laced in his voice. 

He searched my eyes for a moment, then looked back over at Taylor who was falling apart before us. 

"Natalie's pregnant." I sighed as I looked from Ike back to Taylor. 

"What?! Oh my God. How did this happen?!" Ike shouted as he rose to his feet. 

"Ike, stop this isn't going to -" I started. 

"No, Zac. This is going to ruin our band! Our image! Last I checked, none of us were married!" Ike shouted once more, then threw a box of tissues at Taylor, which bounced off of his chest and onto the floor. 

I huffed and reached down for them, pulling a couple of them out and handed them to Taylor. 

He nodded gratefully and blew his nose, but remained quiet as Ike continued his barrage of questions; this only infuriated Ike more. 

"Just fucking forget it." Ike said, throwing his hands up and darting out of the studio, slamming the door behind him. 

Taylor let out a sigh of relief in his absence. 

"This is why you're my best friend." Taylor sniffled and smirked at me. 

I returned a grin back to him, my hand rested on his knee. 

"Forever." 

*****

A large cracking noise snapped across the lake.

I abruptly opened my eyes and squinted towards the distance. Before my eyes focused on it, all I could see was a streak of black curly hair. 

I furrowed my brow and looked down at the joint in my hand, figuring I must have somehow gotten a bad high. Though, it happens on occasion, particularly when I'm stressed. 

I stood up and dusted my pants off, turning to go back to the cabin, when I heard the same noise again, only closer. 

I spun around and looked in all three-hundred-sixty degrees but again, nothing. I shook my head and headed back up the trail towards the cabin. 

"Long time, no see." I heard a female voice say so close to my ear I could feel the hot breath. 

I turned my head abruptly to the right, Michelle next to me with a wide set grin. I blinked a few more times, but she remained. 

This was actually happening. 

"Michelle?" I asked, confusion laced in my voice. 

"In the flesh…sorta." She laughed, a pair of fangs on display. 

"You...you too?" I stammered, my pulse quickening. 

"Who do you think turned me?!" She shouted, her eyes slowly going red. 

"Look...I don't want any trouble." I said, holding my hands up. 

"Trouble? Why would you be in trouble, Zachary?" Michelle asked, her voice tantalizing. 

I swallowed hard, unsure of what to do. My heart was racing at warp speed and I didn't know how to escape the situation. 

When I didn't answer, she stepped quickly up to me, grabbing both sides of neck. 

"Please.." I winced, scrunching my face up, expecting my life to be over. 

"I don't want to hurt you, Zac." Michelle sighed, an obvious hurt in her voice, her eyes locking onto mine, their full crimson color on display now. "But I have to." 

"Wh..what?" I managed to say, my breathing rapid now, on the verge of hyperventilation. 

Michelle's expression went from hurt to hunt mode in a flash, her fangs baring now. I twisted my face back up, unable to escape the firm grasp she had on me now. No matter how hard I tried to throw her off of me, the more she gripped. 

Then I heard a crunching snap, all weight released off of my body, followed by a thud. 

I opened one eye and saw Michelle in a crumpled heap before me. 

Taylor stood next to her, his face riddled with pain, sunglasses on to hide his true emotions. 

He pulled out a Zippo lighter and flicked it once, dropping it onto her body, where she slowly started turning into ash. 

"Are you okay?" Taylor asked, stepping towards me, his arms out for an embrace. 

My breath caught in my throat, the stench of Michelle's body burning in front of me sending me into a panic attack. 

"Don't touch me!" I yelled, swatting his hands away from me. 

Taylor stopped in his tracks, a frown overcoming the concern he'd just shown. 

I stepped back a few more feet, distance separating us more. 

"Zac…" Taylor sighed, the crackling fire still roaring to his left. "I'm not going to hurt you." 

"Like hell! Do you not see a burning body of a friend next to you?!" I screeched, my hands out in the direction of what was left of Michelle. 

"She was going to kill you!" Taylor retorted, the volume of his voice matching my own. "Did you want to die, too?! Because I could have easily let her do it." 

My eyes narrowed at him, fear and rage overcoming any sense of love I had for him in this moment. 

Was this something I could get past one day? I didn't know. But the more I'm surrounded by the truth of what my brother had become, the more I was losing myself: this scared the shit out of me. 

What was normal now, anymore? 

"I need to be alone." I said flatly and turned on my heel to go back towards the lake; the only peaceful moment I've had in days. I longed to return to it. 

"How am I supposed to protect you, if you're alone?!" Taylor shouted from behind me. 

I stopped walking and turned to face him. 

"You can't protect me anymore, Taylor. That ship has fucking sailed, whether you like it or not. As far as I'm concerned, there's a future without you in it." I spat at him, his mouth agape as the sentenced ended. 

"You don't mean that." Taylor whimpered, stepping quickly closer to me. 

I didn't. 

I knew I didn't. 

But the more I was enveloped in this bullshit, the more I wanted to disappear. Take my family and go, never look back. 

"I love you, Zac." Taylor said, now next to me, his hand on my shoulder, which I shrugged off. 

I looked up into his eyes, his sunglasses now removed, the blue color as brilliant as I'd ever seen it. 

Inside, I was crumbling. 

I wanted to jump in his arms, tell him everything was forgiven, let's move forward. It had been a dream of mine to return the wanting he now had for me, but now that dream has become a nightmare. 

"I wish that was enough." I sighed, dropping my gaze and walked back to the lake. 

He didn't follow me, and he didn't say another word to my back. 

My heart was broken, and I'm sure his is now too.


	15. Chapter 15

Taylor 

The ride back home was less than pleasant. 

I wanted more than anything, once again, to tell Zac that he had nothing to be afraid of. But the more I found myself saying it, the more I was even starting to not believe it. 

I was beating a dead horse by now, and quite frankly, even I've had enough. 

He saw me set my ex girlfriend on fire in front of him and then demand his trust. I'm not sure why I ever felt like that would sway him to my side of the fence, but I still tried. 

I'm trying like hell to make him see. 

"See you." Zac mumbled when he handed me the helmet back, his eyes cast downward at his paved driveway before he walked away from me. 

I clutched the helmet, his backside to me, my heart breaking more with each step he took and shattering as the door shut behind him. 

If I tried to say that I wasn't self loathing, call me the biggest liar on planet Earth. 

My best friend, the person I loved first, wanted nothing to do with me. 

*****

"So how many days until tour?" Ike asked, tapping his pen on the conference room table while he looked at the calendar on his laptop. 

It had been three days since Zac and I had spoken.

He still couldn't find it in himself to look at me when he passed by me. In fact, he was doing everything in his power to make sure I knew it. 

Every time I attempted to strike up a conversation with him, he would roll his eyes, huff at me, click his tongue, and disappear. 

"Thirteen, I think." Zac muttered, tossing a blue koosh ball in between his hands, his eyes locked in on following its movements. 

"And do you think you two will be talking by then?" Isaac questioned, obvious sarcasm laced in his voice. 

Zac and I made abrupt eye contact. 

His eyes were littered with bags, a distinct five o'clock shadow, and hair disheveled. 

To paraphrase: he looked like shit warmed over. 

"If you two don't talk soon, I'm going to have to get Dad down here to straighten whatever this is, out." Ike said, motioning the air between us. 

"Ike, you don't need to do that." I winced, adjusting myself uncomfortably in the black leather chair. "We'll get it straight. Right, Zac?"

Zac's eyes narrowed at me briefly, his koosh ball antics coming to a cease. 

"Yeah. Sure." He replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes at me for the hundredth time today, then proceeded to continue tossing his ball. 

I sighed and shook my head, pushing the chair out from underneath me, and stood up from the table. 

"And where are you going?" Ike asked, his mouth agape. "We still have a lot of stuff to cover, dude." 

"Yeah well, consider me not in the mood." I retorted, breaking my eye contact from his, to narrowing eyes on Zac. 

"Go. It's what you do best, Taylor." Zac said, waving me off. 

"What the fuck is your problem?!" I gasped at him, leaning forward, my palms flat on the table; the closest we had been in days. 

"You. You're my problem." Zac snarled, tossing his ball on the table and standing up from his seat. 

"I haven't done a thing to you!" I snapped, leaning back and folding my arms across my chest. 

"Yeah okay, Taylor. You're so innocent, you're never wrong. Right? You're the perfect one! Mommy's little favorite!" Zac taunted, his eyes flooding with tears as he spoke, the color in his cheeks turning bright red. 

"What the - what? Zac, seriously?! I'm so confused!" I said defensively, biting down on my lower lip as my eyes caught Isaac's surprised stare. 

"I used to be in love with you, Taylor. I would have died for you! Yet all you do is make it about yourself when shit gets rough. What about me, what did I do. I've fucking had it!" Zac snarled, slamming his palms on the conference table, his chest heaving rapid breaths. 

"Whoa, guys, okay. Let's take a break. I'll see you tomorrow." Ike instructed, closing his laptop quickly and motioned for us to head out the door. 

I backed up towards the door, actually afraid of what Zac might do if my backside was left vulnerable. 

His eyes stayed narrow, watching every move I made. 

I'd been so wrapped up in being afraid that I might hurt him. But all this time, I should have been afraid of what he might do to me. 

*****

"Taylor, what's wrong?" Natalie asked from behind me as I sat on the bed, my feet flat on the floor, head in my hands. 

I tried to take a shower to wash off the filthy feeling I'd carried with me since I left that conference room, but it was no use. 

So here I sit, waist down covered in a blue green towel, on the side of the bed feeling useless and hopeless all at once. 

Nothing was helping the immense amount of regret, and selfish guilt, that I had for letting him know my biggest secret. 

I'm a monster in every sense of the word, but I longed, and craved, for companionship despite it. All I could think about was Zac and what he could do to fulfill that desire, but then I realized that no matter how hard I might try, it's possible I could wind up killing us both. 

Do I surrender and take the position Zac and I are in, and just admit defeat? 

I wasn't sure. 

I wasn't sure about anything. 

"What isn't wrong?" I muttered through my hands, then pushed my hair back from my face as I sat up to look at her. 

"What do you mean?" She asked, putting down her book on the nightstand and turning her body towards me. 

"Zac and I aren't speaking." I admitted while I picked at the small pieces of lint on the towel. 

"What? Did something happen at the cabin?" Natalie questioned me, confused. 

Michelle's body on fire followed by me choking Zac in the cabin came flashing back into my mind, making me shudder. 

"You could say that." I sighed, then lay down on my pillow, attempting to retrace the series of events in my mind. 

"What can I do to make you feel better?" She asked, frowning, scooching closer to me and wrapped her arms around me, her head on my chest. 

She planted several slow kisses on my chest and the side of my neck as I stared out at nothing in particular. 

"Tay?" Natalie whispered, stopping her kisses. "What can I do?" 

I huffed and looked down at her, the frown ever present on her face. 

I wished with everything in me that I could love all of her, for her. She's been nothing but perfect, by my side, despite the hell I put her through. 

"This might sound selfish but…" I trailed off, averting her gaze. "Please don't stop loving me." 

Her pulse quickened in my ears, her eyes glazing over, face riddled with concern. 

"Why would you say that, Taylor? You know I would never give up on you." Natalie furrowed her brow in my direction, her hands caressing mine. 

The more she said it, the more I thought I could believe it. Then it snapped inside of me: she was begging me of the same thing I've been begging of Zac. 

To trust her. 

I gasped at the realization and jumped off the bed, rifling through my dresser, startling Natalie as she leapt out of the way. 

"What are you doing?" Natalie questioned in surprise, standing up off of the bed and coming next to me. 

"I know how to fix it." I said quickly, grabbing a pair of jeans and a red hoodie out of the dresser. 

"Taylor it's eleven at night. Can't it wait until tomorrow? We should get some sleep." Natalie suggested, placing her hand on my bare back. 

Oh right. Humans sleep. 

"But-" I started. 

"Babe, please? I think we owe it to one another to try and relax. At least for one evening." Natalie weakly smiled. "I just want to be next to you. Next to my husband." 

I searched her genuine filled eyes, and found myself surrendering before I realized it. 

"Okay." I nodded, retracting my previous plan, and set my clothes atop the dresser. 

We climbed into bed and I held her tighter than I had in many months. 

The idea of her always warmed the human aspect of me back up, but my heart was always somewhere else. 

Her face nuzzled the side of my neck and I listened to her breathing steady itself into slumber. 

I watched the stars outside through the window, my sights then focusing on the moon. 

All of the thoughts came flooding back, making me realize so many things while her arms gripped tighter around me while she slept. 

She deserved better than me, and I knew this, but in my own selfish way, I hoped she meant it when she said she would never stop loving me.


	16. Chapter 16

Zac

“Please eat something.” Kate pleaded while I sat at the head of the table. 

I spun my fork around the noodles and sauce, my mind plagued with the bullshit Taylor was putting me through. 

I looked up at her, her eyes full of sadness. The lines of aging ever prominent in her face when she frowned. 

The years ticked by like milliseconds, her unhappiness enshrouding everything about her. It was difficult enough to make myself happy, so naturally I was failing with her, too. 

Kate was doing everything in her power to make me feel better these days, and I felt like a selfish asshole for not accepting that help. 

But what she didn't know, was that Taylor was the only one I truly ever confided in, the only one my heart ever opened up to. 

Taylor and I hadn’t spoken in over a week since our last blow up at the office. 

He’d been persistent enough to get my attention, nothing short of banging on our front door, and ringing my phone off the hook at all hours of the night. 

Me? I was ducking him like one would a debt collector. 

“I’m not hungry.” I sighed, setting my fork down onto the plate and pushed my chair away from the table. 

“You’re supposed to be the man in this house, not a child that I have to take care of.” Kate spat, smacking her hands down on the table and yanked our plates off of the table. 

She'd been on me for weeks now about this incessant will of at least pretending to show that I'm human. 

Yet here I was, still feeling sorry for myself, despite her best efforts. 

She stomped into the kitchen and tossed everything in the sink, a crash resounding throughout the house. I abruptly got up from my seat, tossing down my cloth napkin on the table and met her at the sink, the kids shuffling off nervously into their bedrooms. 

Her back was to me, it rising and falling rapidly. 

“I’m sorry.” I mumbled, afraid to close the foot of distance between us. 

“I know you’re sorry, Zac.” Kate sneered, still refusing to face me. “But sorry isn’t good enough anymore.”

“Can't you see I'm trying?” I asked her, confusion spreading across my face, unbeknownst to her. 

She spun around to face me, her cheeks were sporting new tears, eyes bloodshot. 

“I can’t do this.” She shook her head, her vision fixated on my face. “Not anymore.” 

“I don’t understand.” I admitted, licking my lips and biting down on the bottom one, waiting for the punchline. 

“You need to leave.” Kate sighed, wiping fresh tears quickly off of her face and stepped towards me.

“What?” I gasped, clutching my chest, not able to take yet another disappointment. 

Kate stood there a moment longer, her brown eyes searching mine, before she quickly turned the corner, followed by stomps up the steps. 

After a second of shock wore off, I found myself following her, climbing the staircase two steps at a time. The light to our bedroom was on, a flood of clothes flying past the doorway onto the floor. 

I stepped into the threshold of the bedroom, suitcases littered all over the room, maybe two pieces of clothing managed to lie in it.

“Why are you doing this?! You know I'm trying!” I exclaimed to her while her rapid movements of tossing my belongings continued. 

She said nothing.

“KATE!” I yelled, putting my hands on her shoulders with a firm grip; she stiffened. 

“Don’t touch me!” She shrieked and spun around to face me once more. 

“What is the matter with you?!” I yelled, my confusion now being replaced with another familiar emotion: heartbreak.

“I don’t love you anymore.” Kate admitted, her eyes widening, followed by a gasp. 

She covered her mouth with her hand and blinked several times as more tears cascaded down her face. 

“You don’t...you don’t…” I muttered, unable to find the words. 

“I don’t.” Kate replied sternly, her voice squeaking behind her mouth. 

“Please don’t do this.” I pleaded, slowly gripping her wrists, which she didn’t shrug off this time.

She shook her head and looked down at the floor before looking back up at me.

“I’m in love with someone else.” She sniffled, averting my gaze.

“Who?” I asked, swallowing hard, immediately regretting asking.

I really didn’t want to know. But I had to know. 

Kate and I were in the middle of raising four children together, we’d built a home and life together for over a decade. The worst part of it all, is knowing I’d done the same. I’d been with Kate all of this time, but never actually really with her. 

Every waking moment was fixated on Taylor and never loving her the way that she deserved to be loved. While I was on the hunt for him, she was on the hunt for me. 

I’ve never been emotionally available enough for her. 

But that didn’t mean that I wasn’t in love with her, and I absolutely did not want to break apart our family. 

Ever since that weekend at the cabin, I’d felt like half of a person. 

Taylor wasn’t there to right my wrongs or help me survive as best as I could. He brought out all of the good in me that Kate couldn’t. But now he was wreaking havoc in my home. 

He tried to get my attention in the only way he knew how, and that was to bombard me and fight. It seemed like he craved the turmoil at the worst of times. 

Nevertheless, his attempts to fix things weren't unnoticed, but my stubbornness was now destructive. 

My marriage is threatening to be over right in front of me. 

“Myself.” Kate admitted, shrugging her shoulders.

“Yourself?” I questioned her as she broke away from our stance in front of the walk-in closet and sat on what was left of the empty space of the bed; the rest of it filled with my things.

“I love myself too much to continue on with you, Zac. When you’re gone you barely talk to us, and when you’re here, it’s the same. Yes you might provide for this family, but you are never here. Emotionally or physically, it’s all the same.” She admitted, her eyes fixated on her lap as she smoothed out her pajama pants with her palms.

“I don’t accept that.” I said, shaking my head, and crouched down to her eye level. “I love you, Kate. Please, don’t uproot our family.”

“It’s too late.” Kate shrugged back at me, sniffling, and reached into the nightstand.

She pulled out a stack of paper, which turned out to be airline tickets.

“I’ve already bought the plane tickets.” She admitted, folding them out like a hand of cards. “The kids and I are going to my parents for a little while, to give you time to pack your things and find somewhere else to live.”

“But I bought this house!” I gasped at her, yanking the tickets out of her hand. 

Her face remained stoic; dead.

“You’ve lived in it a quarter of the time that I have, Zac. This house is more mine than it will ever be yours.” She said matter of factly.

“Fuck you.” I spat, throwing the tickets at her. “I hope you enjoy your parents house.” 

I bent down and threw as many clothes as I could into the numerous suitcases around her and I, my eyes never averting their gaze to look at her as I did so. 

She did nothing but quietly sit there, motionless. 

While I knew that she was leaving soon and I didn’t need to pack as many things as I did tonight, I got some kind of weird pleasure out of succumbing her to my presence as long as possible. 

I was starting to not recognize myself anymore. Sure I’d been known as a petty, self absorbed, person, but I was scaring myself more than ever. 

"I don't know you anymore." Kate mumbled behind me when I got to the threshold of the door. 

I turned slowly in her direction, her sadness enveloping. 

"I don't know myself anymore, either." I frowned in her direction. 

She looked up at me slowly and nodded. 

I turned and headed down the hallway, my children all hugging one another at Lucy's doorway. 

"Are you leaving again, Daddy?" Junia, my eldest daughter asked. 

I nodded. 

"When will you be back?" Shepherd asked sadly. 

"I don't know." I frowned, dropping my suitcases and crouching down to their level. "Hopefully not long." 

"We'll miss you." Junia cried, throwing her arms around my neck, the rest of the children following suit. 

My eyes flooded with tears as I held my babies, unsure of when I'd be able to see them again the way I wanted them to. 

My sadness was turning into anger and despair, knowing Taylor was to blame. 

At this point, I didn't know if I wanted him anymore. 

*****

"Taylor!" I yelled, rapping on his front door and ringing the doorbell in between. "TAYLOR!" 

The door flew open, his grip fastening on my bicep as he yanked me inside, throwing me to the floor. 

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Taylor sneered, his hands on his hips. "Are you trying to wake up the entire neighborhood?!" 

"I had to see you." I panted, collecting myself and sitting up on his carpeted living room floor. 

"What is so urgent, Zac?" Taylor replied nonchalantly. 

What the fuck is wrong with him? 

"Kate kicked me out." I sighed, shaking my head. "It's over." 

Taylor stared at me for a moment, his eyebrows perched high on his forehead causing wrinkles to form. 

"What? She left you?" Taylor asked, running a hand through his hair and plopped down on the sofa. 

I nodded. 

"Why?" He asked, leaning forward, forearms rested on his knees as he looked down at me on the floor. 

"You." I said flatly, removing my gray Converse sneakers one at a time. 

"What is going on in here?!" Natalie called out down the hall, her footsteps ceasing behind my back. "Zac? Are you okay?!"

"No." I shook my head. 

Memories of Kate and I rushed back to me as I looked into Natalie's eyes. 

"What's wrong?" Natalie asked, taking a seat next to me and rubbing my back comfortingly. 

"Kate.." I trailed off, my bottom lip quivering. 

"Kate left him, Nat." Taylor sighed. 

I looked up at him as he finished his sentence, his face unreadable. 

"What?" Natalie gasped, the soothing circles of stopping on my back. "Why?!" 

I shrugged. 

"She's not in love with me anymore." I cried, resting my head in my left hand as a sob escaped my lips. 

"That can't be right. Taylor, go talk to her." Natalie suggested to my right. 

"No." Taylor said flatly, and stood up from the sofa. "Let things cool off, then maybe." 

"You can't be serious." Natalie gasped, standing up and facing her husband. 

"I am." Taylor said, shrugging, and made his way to the kitchen doorway. "I'm having coffee. You're welcome to join." 

"Zac, we'll fix this okay?" Natalie offered, a weak smile on her face. 

I nodded at her, and pulled myself up from the floor and escaped into the bathroom in the hall. 

I peered in my reflection, my hair and face a mess. I turned on the water and grabbed a washcloth from the top drawer, submerging it into the warm water. As I pressed it to my face to hopefully erase the signs of chaos my brain surely felt, I heard Taylor and Natalie's argument through the wall. 

"You fix this right now, Tay!" Natalie yelled.

"This isn't our business." Taylor replied back. 

"Of course it is! They're our family!" Natalie yelled. 

"That might be, but I can't go through this anymore." Taylor sighed. 

My ears perked up at this, and I crept down the hallway, perching my back up against the wall. 

"Go through what, Taylor?" Natalie asked flatly. 

"Living a lie." Taylor said back. 

"What?" Natalie asked him, confusion in her reply. 

"I don't love you anymore, either." Taylor admitted. 

My eyes widened, my jaw dropped, and everything I once knew was now foreign. 

Am I finally going to get what I'd always wanted? 

Was the price of that want, worth all of this?


	17. Chapter 17

Taylor 

"Taylor you don't mean it." Natalie cried, stepping towards me. "Please, don't do this." 

Her face was riddled with distraught and loss, her heartbeat pounding in my ears frantically. I eyed her neck, my mouth watering at the predatory instinct to protect myself. 

To end her. 

To end us. 

Though, the love I had for her was still there, I wasn't in love with her enough to stay. 

Kate leaving Zac was the only opportunity I felt I would ever have to break this apart, too. 

Inside, I tried to remind myself that this hurt would only be temporary to the want I have for him. The want that was nagging me for longer than I can remember. 

Natalie still lit up a room when she entered, but that light didn't enter me anymore. Her persistent need to try and make us the happy couple she'd always wanted us to be, was drowning me. 

"I'm sorry." I said coldly, brushing past her and turning the corner to go down the hall, when I bumped into Zac. 

"Tay?" Zac whispered in the shadows. 

I stopped and stared at him for a moment, my right hand caressed his cheek as I stood in front of him. He closed his eyes briefly at the contact. 

"Taylor, wait!" Natalie called from the kitchen, her steps coming closer towards us. 

I sped off towards the bedroom to the walk-in closet. There, I yanked off the suitcase from the top shelf I'd had packed for months and met her at the doorway. 

"Let me go, Natalie." I sighed, her red rimmed, tear stained, eyes full of anger at me now. 

Truth is, I didn't care if she were mad. She had every right to be. 

But I didn't want this life for her. 

I wanted more for her than she would ever know. If that meant I had to be a pretentious dick, so be it. 

"You will not do this to me." Natalie begged as she put both hands up to block the doorway. 

"You're making a mistake." I warned her, my eye color threatening to change. 

I was cornered, my instincts kicking in once more. The vein in her neck pulsated, my eyes wandering between it and her angered expression. 

I blinked my eyes quickly hoping to push the magenta colored vision deep down inside of me. 

"I'm making a mistake?! What about all of the other women you've slept with since we've been together? The many affairs, the lying. Don't talk to me about mistakes, Jordan Taylor." Natalie screeched, her face close enough to mine for me to end this.

"Okay Mrs. Fucking Perfect. Tell me about how our son really got here in the first place?" I sneered at her, our lips nearly brushing each other's. 

"Fuck you, Taylor." Natalie snarled, her arm going up to strike my face.

I firmly gripped her wrist midair, a sickening crunch followed. 

I gasped, now aware of the poor decision I'd made. 

I couldn't tell if I had wanted to really do it, or if it were merely an accident. My head was flooded with a million emotions at once. The voices of every relative was screaming me that I was a piece of shit, followed afterwards. 

"Oh my God, I'm sorry!" I cringed, attempting to hold her wrist when she shrieked and retracted it from me, holding it against her chest protectively. 

"You remember what I said before? That I would've loved you forever, Taylor?" Natalie sobbed, nursing her broken wrist. "That love is gone. Get the fuck out." She said, pointing down the hall with her free hand. 

"You know I didn't mean for that to happen." I frowned. "Are you going to tell anyone?" I asked her as I stepped into the hallway, nervousness riddled in my voice. 

She shook her head. 

"Not if you stay here another second. But if you want to see your children again, you will have hell to pay for that." Natalie said calmly, walked into the bedroom and slammed the door in my face. 

I stared at the closed door, the reality really sinking in of what I am. 

I hurt the one person you don't hurt; the mother of your children. 

"Tay, come on." Zac whispered to my left, his hand lacing into mine as he pulled me down the hall. "It's going to be okay." 

"Dad?" Penny asked, her eyes heavy lidded with sleep. "What's going on?" 

"Go back to sleep, Pen. We'll talk later." I suggested as I let go of Zac's hand quickly and walked up to her. 

I reached my arms out for her, she mirrored me. We held each other for a moment. Her hair smelled of lilacs and roses, the same shampoo her mother always used. 

The inside of me longed for normalcy; a world without all of this drama and strife. 

I missed it more than the sense of hunger for food, for a reflection in the mirror, for a longing to express emotions adequately.

But one look at Zac, and my reason for all of this feels like the right thing to do. 

His eyes and mine caught, a frown on his face as he stood at the doorway, my bag in his hand. 

"Ready to go?" Zac asked as he focused on mine and my eldest daughter's embrace across the room. 

"Bye, sweetheart. I love you." I weakly smiled at Penny, and kissed her on the top of her head. 

"I love you too, Dad." Penny called from behind me. 

I didn't look back, for I knew if I did, even the pull of Zac would give me second thoughts, despite the threats of what I'd done. 

*****

We had nowhere to go, both of us being kicked out of our own homes. So, the next best place would be the studio. 

The tour started in just two days from now, so it might not seem out of the ordinary to everyone else. For that, I was grateful. 

"We can share, you know." I sighed at Zac as he made up a pallet on the floor next to our black leather sofa. 

"I'd rather not." Zac frowned. "I'll be back." 

I watched him disappear into the bathroom with a fist full of clothes with a soft click. I wanted my eyes to well up at the graciousness of what he'd done. I hadn't cried in ages and if anything, I could use the release more than ever. 

Not just for the idea of him setting up our beds, but the fact that I'd been the first person he came to when shit hit the fan. Zac was still confiding in me, despite all I'd put him through, and I felt that was a victory. 

I climbed into the sofa bed he had prepared for me with all of the blankets and a pillow he'd taken from his home. He knew I didn't sleep, but opted to give the more comfortable spot, to me. 

I picked up his pillow and inhaled the scent of him, wishing it were he I had an embrace of, instead. We were so close to one another, yet so far away. 

I stared at the ceiling, my thoughts replaying over and over of how broken I'd made Natalie; my wife, the mother of my children. The person I'd vowed to be with until death do us part. But since I was already dead, unbeknownst to her, that vow was broken four years ago. 

Still, it was hard enough to deal with the repercussions of that with Zac, much less trust her with any of that information. Especially since we have children. 

The light clicked off above us, Zac's shadow moving across the room to my right. I watched as he lay down on his pallet and fold his arms beneath his head and let out a deep sigh. 

It wasn't lost on me that he'd come back with only a pair of boxer briefs on and nothing else. Usually he would resort to some kind of shirt, but tonight, he was practically bearing it all to me. 

"Are you okay?" I asked him, propped up on my elbow facing his direction. 

He looked over at me briefly then stared back up at the ceiling. 

"I don't know." He sighed, stifling a yawn. "I don't know what 'okay' is anymore." 

"Yeah.. I suppose. But we'll make the best of it, right? We always do." I replied, trying to lighten the mood.

"Always the optimist." Zac said sarcastically. "Goodnight, Tay." 

Had I misread all of the signals before? I thought we were taking the further steps to get together. Instead, I felt even more that he was pushing me away. 

I couldn't see him roll his eyes, but it filled up the blackness in the room. 

"Goodnight." I sighed, and watched as he rolled over to face away from me. 

The thoughts I had previously about his graciousness was beginning to fade. 

I was really starting to let the anxiety fill me up, making myself toss and turn on the couch, it feeling claustrophobic. 

Eventually a few hours ticked by, the sun coming up over the horizon as its rats skittered under the door. I pulled my book out and read a few chapters quietly as Zac's snoring wafted through the air. 

I smirked to myself at how innocent he was asleep, but how undoubtedly difficult he was to be around when he was awake. 

I longed to be near him, to let me explain every emotion and thought that came to my mind, but it never seemed to be the right time. 

Perhaps on tour, things would be different. 

Maybe in our familiar element, he will open back up to me. 

Just maybe, we can get back to good.


	18. Chapter 18

Zac

"Knock knock." 

Taylor announced his presence at the doorway of my private area on the tour bus, his knuckles rapping on the wall as he spoke. 

We were parked outside Raleigh, North Carolina, it being early afternoon before the show tonight. 

The shades were pulled down for privacy, despite the fact that we were up much higher in the air than someone could peer in. We had always been very private with our lives, especially on tour. The fans that we have are great, but there have been countless times where someone would overstep their boundaries with us. Better safe than sorry. 

We hadn't told anyone about both Taylor's and my marriages ending, and it was for the best. The pandemonium we had experienced in the time frame of us being single, was not something we wanted to endure again if we could help it. 

Not to mention, this is the first time I've been on tour with a vampire. At least, while having the said knowledge of it. 

After what I'd experienced in witnessing Michelle's death, I knew there were more out there. It took everything in me to not practically walk backwards through crowds, much less perform for them. That being said, I'd had my anxiety medication dosage upped the very next day after we'd gotten home from that trip. 

Only, Kate wouldn't cope with that change. 

It seemed she was so quick to drop me like a bad habit. But in actuality, I'd been so distant with her for so many years, I felt I couldn't undo the damage that has been done. 

"Yes?" I acknowledged him, my eyes fixated to the screen of my TV. 

I'd been playing Nintendo switch for as much time as humanly possible; my mind needed the escape from everything. 

"Can we talk?" Taylor asked, his voice laced with innocence as he sat next to me on the small bed. 

"Go for it." I sighed, switching the game off and turned towards him. 

He was pulling his hair back, obvious his anxiety was flared. 

Taylor stared at me for a moment longer, then crashed his lips onto mine without warning. Being the fragile state I was in, I returned the kiss, my mind full of TV static. 

I knew it was wrong in every sense of the word. 

We hadn't discussed a damn thing about he and I since we'd been in the cabin together. Now his lips are locked in mine as if all we'd been through the past two weeks never happened. 

As if both of our families weren't being destroyed. 

Kate's disapproving face flashed into my mind, giving me the courage to shove him away. 

"Stop." I said sternly, holding my fingertips against Taylor's chest. I averted his gaze at first and squeezed my eyes shut, but looked at him when he didn't object. 

"I'm..sorry." Taylor frowned, then stood up to leave, shaking his head once he crossed the threshold. 

"Wait, where are you going?" I called out and stood up from the bed, taking two steps in his direction. 

He slowly turned back towards me, his eyes full of magenta and sadness. 

"I'm leaving you alone like you want me to." Taylor shrugged, then turned and walked down the aisle towards the bus front door. 

"Taylor stop!" I called out to him once more, then found myself running for him, stopping when I got within arm's reach. 

"What is it, Zac?" Taylor asked curiously, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. 

"Please don't go." I mumbled barely above a whisper. 

He looked at me confused and tilted his head slightly. 

"Why should I stay?" Taylor questioned, his curiosity piqued, waiting for my response. 

"I..I miss you. I miss the way we used to be." I started, my eyes trailing from his eyes to his perfect lips. "I want my best friend back." 

"I never left." Taylor smirked as he caressed the side of my cheek with his knuckles. 

I closed my eyes at the contact, taking in the softness of his hand, despite the abuse they're put through. 

"Zac." Taylor whispered. 

"Yeah?" I said, my eyes remaining closed as his fingers trailed down the side of my neck, his breath a kiss away from my lips. 

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, his lips brushing mine as he spoke. 

I nodded. 

Taylor let out a small chuckle, then slowly pressed his lips against mine, his hands embracing the small of my back. I deepened my kiss with him, pulling his thin body against my own, his dick hard beneath the jeans fabric. 

Without meaning to, I moaned against his lips, which he took as a sign to continue. 

"Come on." I said to him as I broke our kiss, lacing my fingers into his and pulled him back towards my room. 

I knew what I was doing was wrong.

Not in just the fragile mental state I was in, but everything we'd lost between the two of us. 

For this. 

For the freedom to be with each other in the way we wanted to. 

We made it into my room, Taylor shutting and locking the door behind us, his shirt quickly removed and tossed onto the floor. 

I stared at his chest and the many necklaces that laid upon it. His perfect hair up in a ponytail, his perfect hands going to his belt to unclasp it. 

Yet, I stood there frozen. 

Mesmerized by not only the way he looked, but by what our relationship would be like if we did this. 

Would things be the same? 

Would things be completely different? 

Above all, would I regret this? 

Taylor stepped towards me, his hands gingerly tugging at the hem of my shirt. I lifted my arms and submitted to him, the shirt falling to the floor alongside his. His lips softly pressed against mine, our bodies against one another, skin to skin. 

"Relax." He whispered, a smirk on his lips as he kissed me once more. 

I let out a breath as he pulled away, willing my heartbeat to slow; Tried as I might, I was terrified. 

I'd spent the better part of my life wanting this moment, dreams and fantasies washing over my ever waking thought. 

I would be behind my drum kit while he's on stage, watching that perfect ass bounce to the music coming out of our instruments. I would wake up four times out of five, soaked in pre cum from a sex dream of he and I. He'd taken me from rooms opposite either one of our wives in the dreams, forcing me to stare at them as he rammed himself deep inside of me. 

But this was real. 

I looked up into his eyes, the blue a distant memory as they filled with need, as magenta as the horizon during a sunset. 

Taylor pulled me down onto the bed, straddling me as he unbuckled the belt on his jeans. 

I watched in awe how he did it so easily while, I, too afraid to take charge, lie there below him. 

His pants fell to his ankles, a pair of red boxer briefs restricting his member. He bit down hard on his lip as he climbed on top of me and removed my khakis. 

Taylor positioned himself between my legs, his lips so close, swollen, and a dark shade of pink than a moment prior. 

"Do you want me?" Taylor breathed out a ragged breath, his eyes searching mine. 

"Yes." I whispered back and nodded, a small smile splayed across my lips. 

"Try to relax, okay?" Taylor grinned, kissing me once more before he leaned back and pulled his member out of his boxers. 

I gasped, but not in fear. But in want. 

Suddenly, I found myself craving him like I'd never craved him any other time before. My breaths were coming out shallow, the eagerness inside of me begging him to hurry up and fuck me. 

"Tay." I said quickly, his eyes shooting up at mine. "Hurry." 

Taylor's face transformed before me, pure lust ridden. He positioned himself against me, teasing my entrance. 

He grasped onto my left hand and wrapped it around my pulsating shaft, our hands moving smoothly as one. 

The daylight in the room seemed to intensify, as well as all of my senses as he entered me. 

Feeling him fill me up, was nothing like I'd ever known. There was nothing that could compare to this. The want, the cravings that spanned nearly two decades. 

I came in no time at all, while he lasted a bit longer, intensifying the orgasm I'd waited so long to desperately have. 

As tears of happiness ran down the sides of my face and into my hair as Taylor rode my ass into oblivion, I knew then what I didn't know before. 

This was meant to be. 

Creature of the night or not. 

Brother or not 

I wanted him, and I didn't care who knew it.


	19. Chapter 19

Taylor 

I took a long hard drag off a cigarette while sitting on the sidewalk, staring at the tour bus in front of me. It's engine was on, Zac still inside after we'd made love for the first time. 

I'd been inside of him, seen every part of him, but I didn't feel the way I expected to feel. I wanted to feel lust, passion, overwhelming desires of love. But the moment I'd cum inside of him, it's as if it all evaporated. 

Things were different now.

Was it a moment of clarity, or my conscience?

The bus door swung open, Zac stepping off it, his hair still a little disheveled. 

"Hey." He grinned, so wide in fact, that his eyes crinkled. "Want some company?" 

"Sure." I sighed monotonously, inhaling smoke into my lungs. Praying and pleading to feel something. 

"So." Zac said, his shoes toeing at some broken asphalt on the road in front of us. 

"So." I echoed him, sighed again, running my hand through my hair. 

"How uh ..how was it for you?" Zac asked, his uncertainty clouding what was the sheen of sex on his face. 

"We can't tell anyone, you know that right?" I said quickly, snuffing the cigarette out on the sidewalk. 

I turned to look at him, his face falling to a frown. 

"What?" Zac asked exasperated. "Why not?"

"You do realize we're brothers, right?" I looked at him, his face frozen, expressionless, unblinking. 

His gaze averted down, his hand raking anxiously through his hair. The slight unkemptness was now a full blown mess. 

Zac abruptly stood from where he was sitting, the drumbeat of his heart pounding in my ears. 

"Zac, calm down." I stated, watching his disgruntled demeanor as he paced back and forth on the asphalt. 

He stopped, but his face was clouded with what looked to be hate, offense, or something in between. 

"What was the point of this, Taylor?" Zac snapped, his eyes pooling up with rage. "To fuck me only to fulfill some kind of fantasy?!" 

I stared at him blankly, unsure. There was no part of me that felt it was in vain or some kind of trophy. But the more I replayed it back in my head, all of it, I couldn't understand my infatuation with him. 

What made me tick, with him? 

"Taylor!" Zac yelled once more, devastation out on display with his heart on his sleeve. "Please answer me…" 

He and I locked eyes as he fell to the ground on his knees. Zac gripped my hands tightly, and traced small circles on the tops of them. 

"I don't know." I muttered, breaking our gaze and replaced my sights with my lap instead. 

I felt like shit. 

My being and my purpose was being questioned, and I simply couldn't answer it. Not truthfully. 

"Are you guys okay?" Isaac questioned over my shoulders, the backstage door to the venue slamming shut.

"I guess." I answered him, barely above a whisper. "See you guys in there." 

Isaac looked at me confused, slowly blinking at me, then to Zac, who was still on his knees where I'd left him. 

"Taylor." Zac called to my back as I held open the door to pass through it, gripping the steel lever as if it would crumble beneath my grip. "We're not finished with this conversation." 

The tone of his voice cut right through me; mixed with sadness, hate, and everything in between. I didn't know if he didn't love me anymore, or what lay ahead.

I let the door shut behind me without turning around, the reverberations of his voice pounding in my head on repeat as I walked through the halls of the venue. 

When I made it to the green room, I found myself shutting and locking the bathroom door. I locked not only me, but my insurmountable levels of thoughts inside it. 

Instead of being honest with myself, and what I wanted, I let my dick once again take over me. The power of want, lust, and the hunt, won again. 

It's what happened with Natalie, and now it's happening with Zac. 

I hurt everyone I love, no matter whose heart belongs to me. Now, I was just the monster I guess I was meant to be. 

**

"Taylor? Come out here." Zac ordered, knocking twice on the bathroom door. 

It'd been at least an hour since I'd taken up residence on the bathroom floor. A disgusting place to brood, yes, but I felt no better than the trash I was sitting around. 

I studied my hands in my lap, debating whether or not to succumb to the torment my head was going through or not. Should this place become my tomb? 

The truth of the matter is, that I didn't know how I felt. I mean, truly felt, about Zac. 

Could I ever love him romantically like I've been saying to myself? Or was I just wanting to fuck him? I didn't, and still don't know. 

"Taylor, now." Zac gritted his teeth on the other side of the door. 

I sighed heavily and pulled myself up off of the floor, and unlocked the door, swinging it open. 

Zac was standing there, arms folded, with eyes like daggers. 

I deserve this. 

"Let's talk." Zac said, unlocking his arms and motioning towards the black leather sofa nearly identical to our own at the studio. 

I nodded and sat upon it, him joining me to my left. He turned and faced me, my eyes not wanting to look at him, but tortured myself into doing it. 

His brown eyes looked nearly black as I searched them. This isn't the 'happy go lucky' I came to adore, but someone else. 

The someone who's been clinging to my leg like a fucking spider my whole life, was gone. 

"Explain yourself." Zac said bitterly, almost as if he could spit on the ground I walked on. 

"I…" I started, and licked my lips, hoping to gain some sort of courage. "I don't know what to say." 

I admitted it, and it was truth, but a poor excuse nevertheless. 

"Really?" He replied, his nose crinkled up with disgust. "After all we've been through, I don't deserve anything better than 'I don't know?'" 

"My head is fucked up right now, Zac. I'm sorry." I said quickly, yet, defensively. 

"Your head is fucked up?" Zac asked, his mouth agape, eyebrows raised up on his forehead. "How about mine? Thinking that what he just did with someone he loved for over half of his life, was supposed to be special. But instead, turned out to be a fucking conquest on Taylor's fucking map of lays!" 

I deflated. 

"Zac that's not it at all!" I yelled, attempting to defend myself, my gut filled with sadness. 

"Yeah? Then what is it?!" Zac asked, standing before me, his neck vein popping out of the side of his neck. 

"Zac, I have so many emotions right now. But I can assure you, that you were never a 'conquest.'" I said, using my fingers for the air quotes. "I just need some time." 

"All you ever get is time, Taylor. Again, it's always about you." Zac rolled his eyes and turned his back to leave, shaking his head along the way. 

He pulled open the door, and I wanted to run after him. I wanted to tell him so many things, but it felt like nothing would make the situation any better. 

Instead, I let the door shut. I let him go. 

Because of me he feels this way, and because of me, he's not safe. 

Maybe it's for the best that he gets over me in the best way he can: 

By hating me.


End file.
